Still Chasing | Review - Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

This is the very first time in the years and years I’ve engaged in this little hobby where saying “It was a good movie” feels like a backhanded compliment. But that’s about where I’m at. Saw the flick on opening night. A week has passed and the only thing my mind keeps coming back to is that it was a movie and it was fine but it was just there.

Speaking of course about The Rise of Skywalker. The end of the Skywalker Saga which has taken us outwards to a galaxy far, far away and across forty whole, actual years of meta and merch and iconography which isn’t even to mention the numerous spin-offs, sequels, prequels, TV shows, mini-series, and video games. All of that has led to this…which is why just calling Episode 9 a good movie feels like such a misnomer. Getting ahead of myself here.

The most notable part of this chapter in the saga as it starts is that the new trio is finally back together. Notable because they spent a large portion of Episode 8 in separate worlds entirely. Finn and Poe have intercepted a message from a spy in the First Order, barely making it back to base to relay it. Rey, who has been trying to access her Avatar State- I mean her Jedi predecessors is annoyed with the boys for wrecking her ship while they are annoyed that the best fighter in the outfit is running obstacle courses and not, you know, fighting.

A good point to be fair. It helps Rey make her decision to gather up the Old Jedi Texts and follow Luke Skywalker’s final lead to locate the Lost Sith World. Her friends insist on going with her, because we’ve done this “Let’s split up gang!” schtick before with varying (disastrous) results.

JJ Abrams is back at the wheel for this final installment and if starting the movie mid-chase scene wasn’t a big enough tell then the Wile E. Coyote perils of the second act certainly will be. Certain parts of the plotting stuck out to me in this way including a scene where Rey heals a wounded pit worm creature using the power of the Force.

I would make fun of this more, but I have watched far more cartoons than is average and it also set up two key events in the narrative so I’ll leave JJ alone on this one. However…

So much of this movie felt inconsequential. Perhaps because my prediction from two years ago about this movie retconning The Last Jedi into the ground turned out to be true in the most predictable ways. So much talk (boring talk at that) about how JJ was working from behind having to tell his own story and conclude the saga while cleaning up after TLJ. First of all, it’s his job. No tears here, muchacho. Secondly, the meta regarding Episode 8 is only a problem if you treat it that way. Nothing that happened was inherently bad.

Actually, no, that entire code breaker subplot that took up half of the movie was bad. It was really bad. But everything else was fine! Luke has moved on, Snoke is dead and Kylo Ren is the Supreme Leader. There are bones of a solid follow-up to be had, yet Disney’s refusal to carry on even these major developments has me scratching my head to wonder why they let Rian Johnson finish the movie anyway. Clearly, they didn’t know what they wanted and never have which points to the general feeling of dissociation in this final film.

Princess Leia’s story and her time in this film feels the most coherent of all. It helps that she was past being a major on-screen character at this point. It’s also worth noting the tactful way her story ended given the untimely passing of Carrie Fisher earlier in production. They did what they could with the footage they had left and turned it into one of my high points of the movie. I give credit where I think it’s due and this was well done.

The rest was an exercise in lukewarm thrills and squandered potential. Hux will forever be the Big Bad that never was – a fiery ball of charisma playing second fiddle to a room of actual NPCs. Rose Tico, after being heavily involved in the climax of The Last Jedi, is little more than a support character in The Rise of Skywalker. This annoyed me. Rey throughout the movie leaves her friends in peril to go on random side quests and listen to Kylo Ren drone on in painful “cutscene” dialogue. That greatly annoyed me.

I could even compare this to Venom in that it was a weird movie with one great performance that really wanted me to hate it and failed in spectacular fashion. I didn’t hate this movie. I actually liked it by the end. The last thing I can say before getting into spoilers:

The Rise of Skywalker was easier to sit through; The Last Jedi was more fun to talk about.

3 Stars Out of 5

Cool. So straight away it should be known that Hux is the spy. Chewie, Finn and Poe get captured as all guerrilla soldiers in the motion pictures must and just before they’re executed, Hux nabs a blaster and takes out the troopers with him. He releases the prisoners while noting that, even at the expense of his own livelihood, he wants Kylo Ren to fail. Sure, whatever, but then he is gunned down on the bridge by General NPC whose name I don’t care to recall at this moment.

When I first heard word of a spy I thought hey this is a great spot to bring back DJ, the codebreaker played by Benicio Del Toro who was shrewd in dealing with the Resistance and the First Order. What better way to nail home his point about war being nasty and grey than using his ill-gotten gains to help save the galaxy? Instead, it’s Hux. Being hashtag petty before getting a weak payoff to his rivalry with Kylo via a third party. To call this underwhelming would be too kind. Wasted potential, the story of Episode 9.

Ben and Rey interacted well as characters. I stress this part characters because it’s been quite easy for people to forget that these are real people cosplaying fictional characters which I guess is a credit to Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver as actors. Both very talented. Although it felt like the lightsaber duels between them just got in the way. No real thought went into them outside of one specific moment and “Well we gotta have laser swords in this damn thing.” I’ll explain.

In the world of simulated violence, there is an art to making an interaction convincing and enjoyable with a payoff that makes sense. Generally, this involves a decisive outcome. I could point to the Atomic Blonde stairwell sequence or John Wick mowing down dozens of goons with ease while struggling to overcome one expert combatant. I could detail why both of these examples work in their own unique ways but we’re talking about Star Wars so I’ll stick here.

Luke Skywalker, as he grew in his training and experience, went on a steady incline of eventually facing his destiny. In the first movie, he didn’t approach Darth Vader at all. Ben Kenobi bought his crew enough time to escape in the Millennium Falcon and destroy the Death Star. Second movie, he still isn’t ready and Old Man Yoda tells him this. But he still goes, fights valiantly and gets absolutely destroyed by Vader. He survives though, and gains even more experience as a Jedi Knight. When the two meet again, Luke beats Vader handily. There is a natural progression of who gets the upper hand in the battle of wills.

We don’t get to see much of this between Rey and Ben. She’s the protagonist and has gotten stronger on top of the absurd amount of power she already has due to her bloodline (more on that later). Conceivably, she should be able to outmatch Kylo (who’s rebuilt his helmet yay?) and defeat him like Luke did Vader in his third movie. Well, she does, but not by herself. As Alfred so famously said, what’s the point of all those pushups if you can’t move a log? Yes, Kylo is the log here. We’re way past the point Rey should be intimidated by any bad guy. If she’s gonna beat him, just beat him. Obi-Wan’s battle against Darth Maul, who slayed his master in front of him, felt like a desperate struggle where each swing of a saber felt like it could be the last. Kylo and Rey were just swinging props.

JJ owes some royalties to Genndy Tartakovsky, because before the final blow was struck Leia used the last of her life force to reach out to her only child and give him pause, which allowed Rey to inflict a mortal wound. But she’s Force Sensitive and felt her mentor leave the mortal coil. Realizing what she’s done, she heals Ben’s wound like she healed the worm earlier. She then tells Ben in not so many words, hey I wanted to join forces with you but you still wanted to kill my friends, you dick! And Ben is left alone to contemplate this with the ghost of Han Solo.

There is a lot I did and did not like about this. The method in which Rey was victorious made sense in relation to her bond with Leia and Luke and nicely set up the penultimate moment of the film. The path we took to get there was convoluted and involved Rey yet again going off on her own with no regard for her friends and allies and leading her nemesis directly to the thing he was looking for. This reeks of Second Draft chicanery. But! I thought is was a nice way to end Leia’s story and Rey’s decision to save Ben Solo (not Kylo Ren) informed a lot about her character and the decision rightfully came back to aid her in the end.

Speaking of the End: Rey is a Palpatine! Ay, bet you didn’t see that coming. Or maybe you were like myself and my friend Scott who called it from the moment the landed on the sand dune planet. I don’t pretend to be some Great Prognosticator but I knew knew knew that the chance to make Rey the recipient of Assassin’s Creed Bloodline Powers would be too much for the Mouse to pass up. And no, not even the great Adam Driver with his many skills could save the scene where, through his mask no less, he must monologue about who she is, where she came from, what happened to her parents. This was brutal.

You don’t want Kylo Ren to be the Final Boss he’s been built up to be. Fine. He doesn’t have to be and Rey doesn’t have to end him. Have Ben Solo defect and now his rival Hux is Supreme Leader. He doesn’t necessarily hate the Resistance but his hate for Ben burns with the heat of 1,000 suns and that would be enough for him to borrow the fire power of a long-dead Sith Lord or whatever nonsense you want to write but walking out of the theater I can’t wrap my head around how the one First Order officer with any sort of character was just written off in a cutscene that barely went a minute. What’s the point?

Getting back on track. Palpatine’s whole plan is for Rey to kill him and inherit his power so he can live on forever. Sound familiar? He must have known Luke trained her. Surely one would assume he’s warned her about this ruse at some point. Anyway, she refuses. Palpatine gets fried for real this time and Rey drops dead for…reasons, I guess. It sets up the big moment I discussed earlier where Ben climbs out of the Mortal Kombat pit and resuscitates her. A life for a life. It’s a decent payoff, an appropriate end to the Skywalker line and naturally Adam Driver puts his all into what is for all purposes the final sequence in Star Wars history. As far as direct parallels to Vader go, you could have done worse. When you do as many awful things as they did there really is only one way to redeem yourself.

Later, we see Rey and BB-8 (Does she own the droid now or did it just start following her? Fair play either way.) on Luke’s homeworld of Tatooine. She finds his family’s hut and gently buries his and Leia’s lightsabers in the sand dunes there for the next big adventurer to find them, as someone always does. An old woman walks by and asks Rey who she is. “Rey Skywalker,” is her answer. Alright.

First thing: you’re a Palpatine, miss. We just had a whole to-do over it. The fact of which almost ended the galaxy. Second thing: I know Leia basically adopted her and Luke trained her for five seconds but the Skywalkers are gone. Unless Anakin had a sibling we aren’t aware of we have reached the end of the rope. It’s a nice gesture and she got to pose with her round buddy under the two red suns but, factually, this is untrue. As my friend Lunchbox pointed out, it's like someone just did the Aristocrats bit, only the payoff is saying "We're the Skywalkers!" Which if you'll recall is exactly how Episode 9 ended. You cannot make this up.

There are a dozen little things that will needle you as a fan watching this. Finn never got to tell Rey his secret. Rose is a non-factor after being clearly established as a major character. The new characters introduced are largely support class characters with dialogue to match. Conflict is set up not by necessity but largely by our heroes being impotent. All of this stuff adds up but not enough to make it a horrible movie. Just a toothless one. Very well made and pretty to look at. There is much doubt you will remember you saw it in a month or so.

The End is Not the Answer | Review - John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

The epitome of what the John Wick series has evolved into can be summarized perfectly by a scene about halfway through Parabellum when John and an associate are running and gunning through a stronghold in Casablanca. Wick and a baddie have both run out of ammo; both have a spare magazine nearby. The baddie is deleted from the screen because absolutely no one in the John Wick Cinematic Universe is better at reloading than the Baba Yaga himself. A John Wick movie is, above other things, an exhibition where the goal is to see how far and how high the set pieces can go without producing the whole thing on a computer bay. In that sense alone, this is the perfect John Wick movie.

Chapter 3 picks up minutes after the previous installment ended. John Wick has been ruled "Excommunicado" for spilling blood on neutral ground but has been given an hour to find higher ground before every assassin in New York City moves to collect the multi-million-dollar bounty on his head. It should be said here that this movie really leans into the hitman underworld angle – even a homeless man in an alleyway knows that John Wick has less than thirty minutes before the ban hammer comes down. John has to get out of New York while the whole city is after him, fighting through waves of killers to do so. The First Act is punctuated by this struggle as well as two extended, excellent action sequences. One that involves a horse and another that involves a hall of knives and blades.

Something, something, Old Town Road

John Wick gains safe passage to Casablanca in order to call in a favor. He finds Sofia (Halle Berry) whose blood marker he holds. John saved her daughter years ago and helped spirit her away to a life safe from her mother’s profession. Even so, Sofia is not happy to see John and is not shy about saying so. She agrees to help him, if only because she’s certain he will be dead by the week’s end.

From there, the story becomes one of pain. “Consequences” is a word that comes up several times. John is suffering the consequences of breaking Continental rules. Countless others are suffering the consequences of helping him. If they aren’t being killed outright by Zero (Mark Dacascos) and his students, they are being audited by a mysterious figure (Asia Kate Dillon) who refers to themselves as the Adjudicator of the High Table. She does no fighting herself, but is still a formidable and chilling obstacle, as they collect various forms of sacrament on behalf of the assassin elite.

It does increasingly seem like John Wick exists in a separate multi-verse where everyone that isn’t a trained killer knows they are no more than two handshakes away from meeting one. In Chapter 2, Wick and Cassian engaged in a back-and-forth game of tag on a crowded metro station (which wouldn’t be so bad if they were using NERF guns and not silenced pistols). Here, three punk assassins get cut down in the subway and no one even slows up their walk. Had this been sprung on us in the first movie, it probably wouldn’t have worked at all. As such, they only thing we saw was the cool hotel and sleek bars where all the assassins hung out. It’s been a slow build to this point as more and more of this hidden world was revealed to us. The John Wick series rivals Marvel Studios for the efficiency of its world-building.

The film is snug with a two-hour runtime. No portion feels rushed. Not even the middle section where John, Sofia and her dogs tear through, literally, dozens of bogeys. It was a short time after this sequence when John resumes his quest that I realized, “Hey! This movie is gorgeous!” In Casablanca, the focus is on the starry skies and sandy dunes. In New York, the artificial neon lighting is reflected off the soggy city streets. Indoors, the colors are dingy and muted so that the blood of John’s victims pops off the screen. This is all before one mention of the repeated use of silhouettes to impose upon the screen which I fell in love with.

Upon first viewing, my immediate reaction was that Chapter 2 was maybe a bit better – more consistent perhaps. The more I think about it, the more I think I like Parabellum the best of all three. Chad Stahelski returns to helm the ship here and it really does feel like he’s perfected this niche he made with the first installment. Keanu Reeves cements himself with this performance as one of the great action stars of all time. Countless months spent training with firearms and judo masters alike have paid off in scene after scene of visceral, bone-rattling engagements. It has been noted elsewhere that John Wick fights like a “lady action hero” where the idea is to break down your opponent rather than charge head on. Allowing a person of Keanu’s stature to perform in this way without compulsively making him a bruiser has given the industry a bit of notice.

If you’re a fan of John Wick; if you like Keanu; if action movies are your jam; it’s hard to imagine you won’t love this flick. It never sags, nor does it overstay its welcome. There are moments in the middle portion where it feels like the action is getting a bit repetitive, but before you can complete the thought, a new wrinkle is found. It also helps that Keanu spends the first and last 15 minutes or so fighting hand-to-hand. Just in case you forgot, you’re dealing with The One.

You better ask somebody.

4.25 Stars Out of 5

Things Can Only Get Better | Review - Avengers: Endgame

It should probably be said that there are only a handful of very famous movies that feature plots driven by time travel. It is very hard to and harder to do well. After seeing this movie, I can say that, yes, Doctor Who still has the market cornered on the wibbly-wobbly and the timey-wimey. Speaking of…

Captain Marvel is here! Remember her? Nick Fury’s best bud from space that he sent a pager message to moments before he himself was evaporated by Thanos’ snap? She appears as the team surveys the damage and counts the losses and helps them execute their next plan, which involves recovering the lost Infinity Stones and setting the Universe right.

It is a pretty basic plot, all things considered, even if the steps taken to complete the thread are numerous. And this is honestly all I can say about the story without spoiling anything. I suppose the outcome itself isn’t that hard to wonder at. We know the crew has to beat Thanos. What we don’t know is what that looks like and how. Especially after the epic drumming they took in the previous Avengers tale. This is before getting everyone on the same page, which is a chore in all of these movies. Because of this, the movie is very slow to start. It’s never boring, but if we must spend an hour on expository set-up, it would help if it was more organized. Or, just better, in general.

Thor is depicted as slovenly, unkempt and hideously out-of-shape, clearly haunted by his failure to kill Thanos and save his family. I can…look past this for the most part. Even though, making fun of someone for being fat is probably in bad taste (and also got old a decade ago) and making fun of someone for being fat as the result of slipping into a depressive state is definitely in bad taste. Not something I would have done but, clearly, the MCU has mostly punted on giving Thor any sort of development outside of being a gag so it is what it is.

Hawkeye on the other hand is proof of how subtlety so often escapes this franchise. The very first scene of the movie sees Clint Barton’s family get dusted in front of him. Yes, the same family that appeared from nowhere many films ago with no prior hint of their existence in a twist so bizarre that even the characters in movie said, “Where did this farm come from?” This happy young family that we’ve only seen once is now gone. This, understandably, leads Clint to his own depressive episode. His appearance changes as well, only he doesn’t let himself go. He comes out of retirement and continues his first job as a mercenary for hire. Less Hawkeye more Arrow. This development alone is fine. What isn’t fine is taking such a cool, likable character and turning him into every bad boy stereotype from the early 2000s – complete with punk rock haircut and tattoo sleeve. Thankfully, Jeremy Renner is very good and commits 100% otherwise this would be laughable instead of just bad.

Time for the good news today. If you can make it past all of that, the next two hours are quite good and highly entertaining. All characters from MCU past and present join (and re-join) the fray. The final twenty minutes in particular are highly emotional if you are any kind of fan of these heroes or this universe they call home. It’s partly why I’m able to forgive somewhat the length or the uneven pacing of the First Act. It hits at some point during the final set piece that – yes, indeed – this is it. Over a decade and twenty-two movies later, we are the end of the line of legitimately the biggest pop culture phenomenon of this century. If you really must call your movie ENDGAME, you need to earn it. By the end, I believe they do.

Robert Downey, Jr. has before made the comment that his career has now been chopped into two sections. Pre-Iron Man and Post-Iron Man. He’s not wrong to say it, so it only makes sense that the man who started the MCU would be around to help bring it to its emotional conclusion. For the first time since maybe the first Iron Man, Tony Stark was the best character by a long way. Great care has been taken with his arc in the overall universe and it shows here. It’s not uncommon for an actor – even one with such wide range – to be remembered primarily for one seminal piece of work. If that’s what happens to Robert Downey, Jr. it’s not bad at all, because this is a performance he should be proud of.

We see him at the start of the movie, as well. He and Nebula are adrift in space to be saved by Captain Marvel, but before they are, Tony records a heartfelt goodbye message to Pepper who, at this point, he doesn’t even know is still alive. The whole scene is the window into the mind of a man who is staring mortality in the face. As he ends the transmission and lies down on the bridge floor, we see not a hero, but a man. A man who has accepted death.

I liked this movie better than Infinity War even though that one is probably better overall. The first one-third of Endgame is too long; specifically, to long without anything happening. I can’t complain too loud, though, because people actually talk in this movie. They hold genuine conversations which was my number one, blow-my-stack pet peeve of both Batman v Superman and Suicide Squad. A few of the characters’ resolutions were half-baked, especially considering we’ve been following most of them for years now. By the end, however, I was wildly entertained which, for a flick like this, should always be the goal.

The opening stages of this movie show the characters dealing with the implications of their failure. A darkness has covered their lives. Navigating through that darkness has been the thesis of the Avengers series (and Civil War). The abstract being: we do our best when things are at their worst. Cap can do this all day. Not because he wants to; rather, because it’s his job. And as long as it’s still his job, dammit all he’ll keep coming.

How annoying it must be for Thanos. A simple megalomaniac who simply wants to cleanse the Universe of its wasteful ways but he can’t and it’s all because of this one group of super-powered geeks just will not stop fighting. Humans can be brutal, violent creatures. But humans also fight. They resist and they overcome.

Life finds a way.

4 Stars out of 5

Is anyone else upset that Natasha never got to reconcile with Banner? At all? This question is rhetorical since none of you can answer me but good grief, how is it that you handwave Black Widow’s feelings about getting stood up after Age of Ultron and then et cetera a relationship that had been developed over several movies? How Sway?! As annoying is that is, though, they still found space to touch on her connection with both Cap and Hawkeye, the latter of which is literally her best friend so props must be given there. Platonic male/female relationships are some of my favorite things to see in a story and I hope the Marvel influence leads to more.

And as long as we’re on the topic I suppose I should speak about that scene. Long story short: The Avengers track down Thanos but discover he has destroyed the Infinity Stones. The act of doing so has left him weakened and scarred. Not nearly the world-beater he was when we first saw him. The team needs a fresh set of stones now, one of which is the Soul Stone. If you will remember class, the Soul Stone cannot be obtained unless the person seeking it sacrifices that which they love. This is the reason Gamora is gone in the first place. Naturally, when two depressed and traumatized assassins take this journey, it leads to a fist fight to see who commits suicide, essentially.

While describing this scene to my partner in crime, Lunchbox, I said that it was a bit jarring in the “Oh, I guess we’re doing this” way but that it worked in a vacuum for these two characters. He then brought up the good point that, most of Marvel’s storytelling “work in a vacuum.” Of course, Thor, in a short film or vignette, would let himself go and literally threaten to smite some kid on Fortnite. In an Avengers movie, though? In the last Avengers movie? I guess you can technically, but it’s pretty weird.

I do like the role of a Smart Hulk that has finally reconciled the conflict between his body and Banner’s mind. I was bothered by the sight of him apparently being the most upset by Natasha’s death when they hadn’t said two words to each other previously in the film. Or the last one! While everyone was in their Five-Year Funk the only one who ever thought to go visit her was Steve Rodgers. Clint can be upset because she sacrificed herself for him but everyone else’s reaction seemed very sudden.

The final set piece is everything I love about this genre. So many callbacks and reunions and shout-outs. There’s the return of Peter Parker, whom Tony had taken in as his own before he actually had a child of his own. There’s Captain America saving Thor with Mjolnir, which is a reference to the best scene of Age of Ultron where Thor challenges his friends to lift his hammer and Cap manages to move it but not lift it. Scarlet Witch returns and heads straight for Thanos – a younger Thanos from a different timeline who has clearly never seen this woman in his life. When Thanos’ lead destroyer starts raining down pulsing blasts onto the battlefield, things look bleak until the cannons aim upward to an advancing Captain Marvel, who single-handedly brings down the ship. Later in the scene, Carol leads a charge of all present female heroes as young Pete watches in awe.

Doctor Strange uses his wormhole magic to bring in all the forces from every place the team has ever been. Tony references the one-in-fourteen-million odds of victory that was apparently sure enough for Strange to help Thanos win in the third installment. “If I tell you how it happens,” Strange says, “it won’t happen.” Based upon how time works in this movie, one can infer that this outcome was less than guaranteed. It was simply the timeline that had the best chance of working, which means Strange has a tremendous amount of faith in the team or Lady Fate, either way. It must have been a true Heart of the Cards moment for him seeing that a scenario so impossible with so many variables being literally the only chance to succeed.

I do like how it’s made clear that finding the Stones and going back in time can’t undo everything The Snap set in motion. Tony correctly makes this point, as he hosts his former teammates at the cabin he promised to build for his spouse. I appreciate that the resolution was a touch more complicated than just hitting Ctrl-Z (or Cmnd-Z for you Apple marks). In the future, don’t name drop several other famous time travel movies, because all it really does is remind folks that they did it better than you did. Back to the Future is not a bunch of bullshit. Hawkeye channeling his grief with a Tyler Durden cosplay? That definitely is.

Cat! In Space! | Review - Captain Marvel

Agent Vers of the Kree Starforce isn’t who you think she is. She isn’t even who she thinks she is. She’s really Captain Carol Danvers of the U.S. Air Force and the trip she takes from the latter to the former is what Captain Marvel spends most of its brisk runtime unraveling. We see the journey and emergence of a hero capable of ending the Universe’s greatest cosmic threat.

But first! We have 90s things!

Right, I’m ribbing a bit here. The references to the decade this movie is set in are for the most part well-laid. The fashion was period-appropriate with lots of denim and leather. The soundtrack is as well, if a bit ubiquitous at times. There’s a vibe the producers wanted that is essentially achieved. Sometimes.

At its core, Captain Marvel is an action film with a coming-of-age hook. A classic origin story for Carol and the initiative that she will aid in the future. Past that, the story has several different movies converging on one another. As we follow Vers (Brie Larson) on the Kree’s home planet of Hala, where she hones her power under the watch of Yon-Rogg (Jude Law), we get a sweeping space opera with a vague Halo aesthetic. We get to Earth, meet a young Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), and suddenly it’s a buddy cop ride-along. (A good one, honestly.) As the two begin finding clues, it shifts to a light spy thriller. Some choppy edits in the first half suggest this movie was cut for time and these tonal shifts may be evidence of that.

The story finds its stride at the same time Carol does. As she regains her memory bit-by-bit the film gains more traction in its presentation. On Hala, Vers is told constantly that controlling her emotion is the key to controlling her power. As Carol on Earth, through the help of her friends, she finds that letting go is the only chance she has. Ending the person she was to be the person she is now.

The path she takes to get to this point is surprisingly painful in relation to the relative tameness of the rest of the film. Again, it’s quick, at just over two hours. The problem that brings is a dissonance in how our main character processes her trauma. In the six years she spends on Hala she suffers from recurring nightmares; she regularly hallucinates a life and setting she has no recollection of. Throughout the movie, she experiences both betrayals of her trust and violations of her agency. She overcomes these trials, but the pacing leaves no room for proper reflection outside of one very poignant scene at the end of the Second Act.

In an action movie this rarely ever matters. The hero is supposed to be strong and unaffected. It matters here because this isn’t just an action movie. And Carol isn’t just an action hero. In a more organized movie – with a screenplay more sharply written, and direction more consistent – Captain Danvers would have multiple chances to pause and unpack how her journey has affected her. This likely means a longer movie which, as noted, probably was easier said than done.

Now that I’m done picking this thing apart – I liked the movie! Shocking, I know, but sometimes I critique legit. I do believe the runtime helped this movie. The second half was a breeze to sit through while the first half began to drag even in the opening stages. This doesn’t appear to be a JL scenario where two movies were cut and then spliced together. More likely that one movie was made and then trimmed to a manageable length. I would like more character work. I think the cast is too talented not to warrant it. But I also know the story isn’t nearly complex enough to warrant it.

I can’t end this review without speaking on the troll campaign to derail this movie. Firstly: at the time of me writing this, the movie has made 188 million dollars with one more day to go in its opening weekend. What I’m saying is, it did not work. I feel this should go without saying, but I guess I’ll just say it anyway. It really is not that serious.

We are one decade and over twenty movies deep into this cinematic universe. Even outside of that, we are two decades deep into this cultural superhero phenomenon. That’s a lot of movies. I’ve seen most of them. A lot of movies aren’t that good. But most of them are just okay like this one was. That’s something you find out when you trek to the cinema as often as I do.

The greatest perk this blog affords me is the chance to hit my own spots (hashtag buzzwords). When the primary goal is getting clicks, the thing to do, depending on which side you fall on, is describe Captain Marvel as the future of hero cinema or the end of the genre as we know it. It’s neither, really.

Know what this is? It’s a pretty safe, middle-of-the-road Marvel flick with excellent performances that consistently outpace the material. A good movie that should be great; one that never questions its message, only how to tell it. It’s a message worth sharing. There are worse ways to spend two hours on an evening out. Take a friend, enjoy the show and discuss after.

With that said!

I can only overlook Carol’s lack of development if the Russo’s do her justice in Endgame. How could they do that? Simple really. The main objective of this movie was to introduce Captain Marvel as a credible threat. Her power is undeniable. Now when people see her wilding out in Avengers 4, things should be a little less jarring. She’s been established as part of the universe, but at the expense of her own story. There is but one way to rectify this.

Carol Danvers has to be the one to usurp Thanos. Only Carol. Not Carol and the gang. Not Carol and the New Kids. They can be there, of course! If they want to make their Infinity Stone powers combine to help Captain Mar-Vel beat Purple Galactus that’s more than cool. But Carol has a lot of time to make up for. She has to be positioned as the ace in the hole Fury sees her as instead of just another member of the team. Otherwise…

3.25 Stars out of 5

Crate Diving: Episode 3 | Palisades - Erase The Pain

Despite listening to a heavy amount of rock music as a teen I should come clean about not really being involved with this corner of the genre until recently. I had a passing awareness of the quote-unquote screamo stuff. It was fine, but I never really spent so much time listening that I could call it formative in any way.

After all, most of what I listened to at that point was Hip-Hop and EDM. When I did listen to rock music, it fell into one of a few columns: the abstract stuff (Gorillaz), the punk stuff (Bouncing Souls), or just metal (Sevendust). There was a fair bit of alt-rock I frequented as well, but by that point, even then, the line between “Yacht Rock” and pop music had been sorta erased, so I won’t count that.

Now I have newfound time to go down a curated list of acts a younger me might not have even thought to give a listen. On that list was this group from New Jersey known as Palisades.

I picked their latest project Erase The Pain not for any particular reason other than it was their latest one and I wanted to see what the evolution was from their first studio album to their fourth. A lot can happen in seven years.

It’s probably expected, but the jump from their self-titled effort to this one is a bit smaller than that from their debut, Outcasts, to now. One common thread I spot is the clear punk influence. Power chords everywhere, which is usually good news. Erase The Pain was a bit different and to explain why, I’ll need a short sidebar back to the self-titled cut.

What sticks out to me about the 2017 album is how it incrementally drifted toward the pop end of the pop-punk spectrum. More digital instrumentation; synthesized harmonization; more melodic guitar voicing. My thoughts on music are a lot less organized than my thoughts on movies. I have difficulty putting it into words other than to say that the self-titled album has a very polished production. The focus seemed to be on making cool melodies that were colorful and danceable. I like good melodies more than just about any other element of composition, so I tend to mark the self-titled LP as their best.

Erase The Pain drifts back to the rock end of the spectrum. Lots of big chords on this record with most of the melodies and counter-lines being picked up by the vocals and lead guitar. There are some metalcore elements, as well, but the instrumentals toe the line from one genre to the next. “War” in particular stands out to me as a song that echoes early-stage Linkin Park, with heavy effects in the vocal track. Even “Fade” sounds like late-stage Linkin Park with its piano-driven melody and slow-build verses. This is meant as props, by the way. Linkin Park is one of those bands I spent a lot of time listening to. Minutes to Midnight especially.

This LP uses a writing method that I assume I’m only noticing now that I’m paying more attention to composition. A song will use the first five seconds or so to introduce the main riff motif, then drop it to build the verse; when it’s time for the chorus, the riff will either be brought back as the primary element, or it will be taken by the lead guitar while a separate progression is played. I noticed this in Breaking Benjamin’s latest, Ember, and I think it’s a slick little notation for these kinds of tunes. You could call it foreshadowing in a way. There’s also the track “Patient” which spends the first third or so setting up the melody and chord tones only. The full band joins in at about halfway so that both guitar parts can power chord their way through the progression that’s already been established. Pretty clean writing.

I like this record and this band. I didn’t love every song like on the self-titled album but Erase The Pain does have some winners on it. Palisades has a sound that works for them. Catchy tunes that don’t lose their kick. I’m not picky with my musical palette. This is really the only thing I ask for. They supplied that so I look forward to their next project.

Crate Diving: Episode 2 | Ariana Grande - thank u, next

I have long thought that Ariana Grande had power in the pony tail. The young lady has had a relative strangle hold on the pop music scene for the last few years and with each release her music has gotten progressively more subversive and mature. She’s one of a few select artists that could subsist entirely on making hit songs and performing them to her leisure. All of these things are true and yet that wasn’t enough to keep her from releasing a new full-length LP half a year after her breakout Sweetener. Spoilers now: this album is better.

I want to talk about my three favorite songs on this record but first, I’ll set the vibe for those who haven’t listened. I pondered and pondered which album I was listening to. Hers, obviously, but it sounded so familiar and I didn’t know why.

The first few songs I thought maybe it was Timberlake-esque. Specifically, The 20/20 Experience – a pop record with an R&B/Soul sensibility. “A good choice!” I thought. Then, I listened further. It hit me then. I am a dummy, you see. This is not a JT record. It’s an Ariana record with a Weeknd state of mind.

No, that isn’t a typo. I haven’t done a full review of The Weeknd’s Starboy cut. I should, because it’s awesome, but right now the focus is the connection I made. The two artists have very different tastes and styles (and have collaborated before) but thank u, next visits a lot of the same themes. It’s a super moody, sometimes dark, record about love and loss, varying levels of commitment to relationships, the challenging and depressing aspects of international fame. Ariana contends with it all in a very adult manner.

“7 Rings” does well to set the scene for the whole album. It was meticulously constructed by a crack team of producers to be a club bop. Layered thick with synth and drum machines like the rest of this album (or pop music for that matter).

This song’s narrative is a reflective commentary by Ariana about the compulsion to spend one’s problems away. That reflection turns inward as she thinks she might be happier if she can spoil her friends with her habit. This is exactly her plan; she happens to be a very wealthy celebrity, so things go off without a hitch.

This is the first of a few tracks that take the ‘Suffering From Success’ trope exploited by so many of her male counterparts and veer the ship off-course. Yes, fame and fortune have their downsides, some days are worse than other, but she is still leading a very charmed life and has been since she was a teenager. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy lots of clothes, b.

“Bloodline” is my favorite track by far. On the surface, it’s your typical friend with benefits song. Listen a bit longer, you get to see the flip side of the mood on the track “Needy.” The only “needy” Ariana might be is needy of her space.

Don’t want you in my/bloodline, yeah

Just wanna have a/good time, yeah

And no need to/apologize, no

But you gon’ have to/let this shit go

Don’t take it personal, homie. It’s not you. It’s not about you, either. An itch needed to be scratched. And now it has been, and you can go. I’m a big fan of people in general reclaiming their agency. For the past year or so, Grande was involved in a long-term relationship, then a break-up, then an engagement, then another break-up. All of it very public. Part of the narrative each time was of her as a clingy, co-dependent lover despite her being a bigger star than either of her exes. She’s an even bigger star now. Tying herself down to any kind of committed relationship understandably es no bueno.

The card is subject to change, though. If such a case were to occur, do follow her instruction: “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored.”

Having listened to the whole album a few times, I have decided this is my pick for best track. It’s got a fun, danceable beat where Grande employs the almost-rapping-but-still-clearly-singing vocalization she’s been using of late. It works here, because the very tone of the song is confident, even aggressive. A thread progresses that sees the artist freely explore its Hashtag Problematic nature.

You could say I’m/hatin’ if you want to

But I only hate on her/cause I want you

Say I’m trippin’/if you feel like

But you without me ain’t right

She’s calling her shot, basically. She’s rich, she’s famous, she’s bored. She would like a companion. She doesn’t want you to cheat; she’s not a monster. Break up with her, hop in the whip and leave the party with the singer you just met five minutes ago. It happens!

If it sounds crass it’s because it is. To remember where she came from, you would have to track Ariana Grande’s path from a young age as a performer. Most notably, a TV show where she had a recurring role, followed by another TV show where she had a starring role. Her singing range was common knowledge by then. When she began to make music, it largely reflected her position in life.

Her earlier music is light and airy bubble gum pop more suited for the girls (and boys) of her age group. Kids that mostly grew up with her. She enters adulthood. She matures. The music matures with her as does her fanbase. It leaves less explaining and hand-wringing to do when topics of love and sex are further explored. She doesn’t have to ask her peeps if they want trap beats and 808s because the question is rhetorical. Imagine the release of being a grown adult who can shed all ties and say, “I want that one.” There’s a cleverness behind “breakup with your girlfriend” being the final track.

This is my favorite Ariana Grande album. Good news for me as it is also the best Ariana Grande album. It’s bold and energetic and never boring. The title track and “NASA” are maybe my two least liked. And they’re both still pretty good. Even beside this, she is a beautiful singer to listen to. Has been for some time. They only let her sing so many times on Victorious and you see why. On a show full of talented people, it’s very difficult to hide the clear best. Just show a flash of their true skill and it’s game over. thank u, next feels like the beginning of an artist realizing their potential and the music scene is better for it.

Crate Diving: Episode 1 | Tom Morello - The Atlas Underground

When I first started following musical acts for real around the year 2000, my fandom came in waves. Obviously, there was the Nu-Metal explosion of the New Millennium of which I was gleefully on-board. My mother introduced me to the hits of the 80s, birthing a love for pop music that endures to this day. My grandfather spun countless vinyl records of the two-step anthems from the 60s and 70s. The recurring theme here is outside influence. Whether it be my friends or my family, there was always a guiding hand to help me discover new music. When the time came for me to mark my own fandom, I happened across a group with all the righteous fury of Public Enemy’s guerilla rap and the most slamming chords of any band in the world.

Rage Against The Machine was the band. If you are reading this and don’t quite remember the group in their active years, the name is all you need to know. Selling out arenas is great. Playing to 100,000 at a festival is awesome. Yet still: not one note was played in anything other than utter furious disobedience. Zack De La Rocha, former frontman of the band, has continued this by writing music in vocal features in the years since RATM last played together. Now, guitarist Tom Morello has produced his own solo project – his first in many years.

When I read up about the making of this record, I kept thinking of another one: Common’s Universal Mind Control from 2008. Musically, they aren’t all that similar. In conception, they are almost the same. Common was inspired to make his album after a lengthy vacation in France helped introduce him to the House Music and EDM (Electronic Dance Music) scene. UMC was billed as the future of hip-hop and for my money (literally, having bought it) this is all true. Its warbled and industrial sound preempted a wave of mood-rap ventures: Yeezus from Kanye West; Camp from Childish Gambino; the early work of Travis Scott.

It’s 2018 and EDM is far more than the niche genre it was a decade ago. It has injected every facsimile of pop music; not even the most basic of Top 40 tunes can go without a beat drop or synth cord progression. For The Atlas Underground, we see Morello align himself with these EDM sensibilities and combine them with his own talent for writing, and playing, his own screechy, metallic riffs. Disclaimer time: no, this isn’t a case of ‘Hello, fellow kids’ by the veteran musician to get people to buy his album. If anything, this project – with the boom-bap truther anthem “We Don’t Need You” – will be a repellant.

From the first three songs you will be able to discern if The Atlas Underground is your speed. “Rabbit’s Revenge” for sure is not a soft listen. Two icons of the Dirty South rap scene – Big Boi and Killer Mike – team up on this Bassnectar-produced track and throw down two furious verses on the cultural divide and mistrust of the Black Community toward the police force writ large. Big Boi begins:

There’s always a punk motherfucker/poppin’ that weak shit

Thug thumb, Internet gangsters/not on no street shit

Where we come from/we don’t fuck with no polices

We pay their salary/and they pay us back with mistreatment

Killer Mike follows this up with commentary on how minorities are disproportionately targeted by patrols. He references Trayvon Martin of Florida and Mike Brown of Missouri. Not nearly the only two young Black men killed via extra-legal force; no doubt the most famous. Two of many victims (including Sandra Bland, referenced in verse one) of a system designed to decimate an entire people and break their spirit. This song is a call to arms above all. Wouldn’t you know? “It ain’t no fun when the rabbit’s got the gun.” Right, Wabbit?

The hip-hop presence on this record was expected from Morello and didn’t disappoint. He recruited a solid line-up of MCs that brought a righteous fire to the booth. Chicago native Vic Mensa nicely complimented Morello’s signature style on “We Don’t Need You.”

Ooh, I can stand my ground to this shit

Tom Morello and Vic Mensa/we on time with this shit

Militant mindset/nine-millimeter complex

Two middle fingers/to the killers in the Congress

Start off with a reference to the gun law that got Trayvon Martin legally murdered and end with a dig at the Legislative Branch of US Government which is timely at almost any point in history, but especially now in the midst of the longest government shutdown in US history. An angry damn song this is, but that doesn’t stop it from being a head-bopper. The oscillation of the industrial beat will have you moving in time, reminiscent of the RATM turns of old.

There are two female features on this LP. The first is K. Flay – one of the more acclaimed indie artists of the past ten years. She’s a self-produced, multi-instrumentalist from Cook County, Illinois who can rap and sing and pretty much every other thing a musician would need to do. “Lucky One,” the track she features on is a jaunty cut with a bouncy alt-rock vibe that sounds like it was produced just for her. Maybe it was, because even the subject matter should be familiar to anyone that’s visited her discography.

Oh, I’m a piece of dirt

Caught in a spiral, dead on arrival/make it hurt

Oh, I’m a tragic man

Love is a card game, head full of heartache/it’s all a part of the plan

“Are you a sucker or a lucky one?” she asks. When you consider her path to success – from leaving a toxic relationship and skirting homelessness to having her music featured in major motion pictures – it would be generous to call K. Flay anything but. Lucky only to be seen. There’s nothing accidental about how good she is. The very same should be said about the second female MC featured. An enigma she is.

She hails from Brooklyn and performs as ‘Leikeli47.’ Always with her face covered. She hasn’t disclosed her name or age but has still released plenty of music. Not much else is known about her other than the fact that she’s pretty good. In “Roadrunner,” she crafts a yarn, Slick Rick style, of a migrant’s journey to these United States.

I be damn I gave my last

To a coyote

To get me ‘cross the border

Far too many women and children and in between fall victim to trafficking schemes in exchange for the possibility of a better life in America. If one was willing to take this issue on a case-by-case basis it would be clear immediately who those people are. Some of them are dangerous, but some of them are victims.

One hour out of Guadalajara

No pit stops even though/the engine gettin’ hotter

Surviving off my own sweat/I drink it out of bottles

I see a lot of y’all parched/and that’s the fucking problem

Nothing on this album shook me more than those bars right there. This is the point I’ve brought up anytime I’ve heard even a mention of a “crisis” at the Mexico border. Most people don’t know, but how would they if they don’t care? I watched a full documentary special of a small crew following a troupe of migrants. This was years and years before the mass exodus from Central America that occurred in late 2018.

This may not come as much of a shock, but the path taken to even make it to the border is so fucking dangerous. Before anyone can even reach the “wall” they have to dodge numerous hazards including the so-called coyotes. People are run down, pursued, kidnapped, and yes, killed all in the course of the thousands of miles they travel. All so they can seek entry and asylum to a country they have been told will take them in with open arms if they are earnest about being productive. And they always are.

This piece makes it out like the album is wholly political and that isn’t the case. It’s where most of the substance is, just not nearly the end. As noted, Morello collaborated on production of this album with some main stays in the EDM scene. The legendary Bassnectar; Australian Dubstep duo Knife Party; and world-famous DJ Steve Aoki who lends his skills for “How Long.”

And how long/can we dance around

The hungry mouths, the burning streets?

And how long/can we drown them out

With lights and sound, while bombs fall at our feet?

This tune is performed by Tim McIlrath, vocalist from the band Rise Against. Casual music streamers might not discern this easily; for the rest, a peek at the production notes reveals a who’s-who of the modern music scene. No surprise, as Tom Morello is a Triple OG and his rock roots run so impossibly deep. He, Damon Alburn, and a few select others have the clout to scroll through the rolodex, choose three numbers at random and say, “Help me make an album, dude!” only for an album to appear from the ether months later.

“How Long” has a protracted build-up driven by that classic crunch of Morello’s guitar pedals. Couple this with the beat drop and pulsating rhythm of Aoki’s production, you can only assume Morello won’t be done playing massive festival crowds anytime soon. The song is fun yet is not without its questions.

In America, we are in the middle of the longest government shutdown in history. The Coast Guard is unfunded. The Department of Homeland Security is unfunded. Airports are understaffed leading to hours of delays and terminated flights. Air traffic controllers are working without pay, even as the industry prepares for a massive turnover. Both the Pilot and Flight Attendant Unions have released a joint statement with the NATCA detailing the increased danger of flying without proper funding. With no end in sight to the impasse, the day may come when the system simply breaks. Even after the shutdown ends, the aviation industry may well be crippled for years to come.

What of the individuals working through this? Grown adults who can’t feed themselves. Parents that can’t feed their children. The recipients of SNAP benefits who will no longer be able to once that program runs out of funds soon. How long can we dance around the hungry mouths? How many missed meals does it take? What is critical mass for innocent people seeing their family suffer before they take matters into their own hands? What happens when the system breaks?

Feels Like Frío

The story here is that my left arm is likely done following orders for a bit. Also that I’m no longer stranded. Which is good news, because after a full 30 or so hours of letting things pile up (inside and outside) I was so very ready to make tracks.

First, some undesignated story time. I took one of two college credited courses in high school. One in Math and one in English. Back then, I favored Algebra the most but found the homework egregiously boring which led me to skip half the worksheets yet ace the tests. Honors English II was almost inverse. Not that I didn’t ace the class – the assignments were appropriately challenging and engaging. Algebra homework was mechanical, and I had PS3 to play. The other class was little more than an excuse to do what I do best: write long pieces of thoughtful contemplation for a captive audience!

The assignment I’m thinking of specifically is one that had us take a trip and recall the details, events and how it made us feel. Apparently, I missed the class memo of trips to the store being eligible. You see, I took the prompt literally, recounting a three-day weekend I took some weeks prior to my grandparents’ house in rural Northeast Missouri, where they live to this day. As usual with these papers there was no limit, just a minimum, so I could really let it breathe and turn this school essay into a story. I know there’s a copy lying around somewhere; who knows how many pages I ended up with.

To summarize oh-so-briefly: one day in the Spring I drove out to stay with my folks for a long weekend and rode my bike from one end of town to the other. Growing up there, I can tell you, Missouri is some BS on many fronts. However, as a Natural State, its beauty is on the shortlist. As noted, my grandparents live in a part of the state ripe with unconquered land. Boy, if you ever need a spot to sit and not see any person for miles and miles you will find no shortage. As busy as I was in high school, I often think that these moments of rest and silence and separation from my routine were a big reason I didn’t totally break down (which happened later anyway but after I graduated lol).

Here we are now. It’s a little under a decade later from that point as I write this. I’m pulling this exercise from my school days into young adulthood. Why? The most embarrassing thing a creative can admit is feeling futile. Not that I have a lack of ideas. Quite the opposite! I have so many thoughts whirling around up there, I don’t know where to start. This inevitably leads to thoughts of whether or not I should start. I wasn’t gaining any ground personally. I’ve been working on the same story off-and-on (but mostly off) for half-a-year now when I set a deadline for myself to end it before the holidays.

I don’t know if posting this will help or if it should. I’ve meant to keep more hand-written journal entries for my own use for ages now. This won’t be that. Just a Stream of Conscious following a very broad outline of my day. I don’t expect anyone to find that interesting or even attempt to read but, I’m hoping for myself that if I can at least write and post this, the floodgates will open, and I can dump some of the other stuff taking up real estate in my Right Lobe.

I’ll start with my views of Good Snow vs Bad Snow. There was a huge storm that made its way across the continental US this past weekend. I joined much of my friends on the East Coast and elsewhere watching as snow the snow fell…and fell…and fell. Eventually I dug myself out, but not immediately, oh no. What few errands I had left by Friday were taken care of before noon, affording me ample time to return home and perch at my bedroom window to watch the cavalcade of ice crystals float by.

Last year was a Bad Snow. The winter was long and bitter with constant sub-freezing temperatures. The winter storm started as a thunderstorm, which of course became freezing rain which then turned into sleet a short time later and iced over every road. Only after all this did the near 12 inches of snow come through to make a double dare of danger. This may shock you but…it sucked!

Seasons are nice but wear can out their welcome, etc.

This year was a Good Snow! (Even if it wasn’t, I may have been more forgiving just because I didn’t have anywhere to go for two days.) It was a peaceful storybook snowfall with no wind or garbage precipitation. With only an hour or so of sleet, there was no ice whatsoever. We only had to sit and wait – from Friday afternoon to early Sunday morning – as the snow fell uninterrupted. I took a single step outside my door to observe more closely. The flakes were big and chunky, gathering in light, fluffy heaps upon landing. It’s the kind of snow that calendar-makers dream of. No trace of wet-nasty slush anywhere. I almost ventured out…until I remembered, as I do every Winter, that I had a PlayStation waiting and shut the door.

A full day and change later, I’m ready to go. I don’t get stir crazy easily and I knew it wasn’t that. It was far more serious. My last depressive episode was sometime in early 2018. I overslept and was late to my morning dental check-up. So late in fact that the desk clerk kindly let me reschedule for later that month. Maybe she saw something I didn’t, because the next thing I did was walk straight to my car, pull up the memo app in my phone, type out I think I’m still depressed, delete that same memo, and sob quietly alone in the still sparse parking lot.

It scared me, frankly. It came out of nowhere and to this day I don’t know what triggered it. I don’t get too upset about being late to appointments other than me, in general, not keen of being late to anything. Whatever it was just happened to catch me lacking. Up to that moment, I haven’t felt so alone and useless since I left school and I was emotionally underwater for three years.

The notion of going back to that terrified me enough that I called my best friend later that day and told him what happened. He told me that whenever he feels an episode like this might occur, he forces himself to engage in constructive social ventures. Maybe he goes ice skating or takes a drive with his partner, a chance to do something he likes with like-minded people – or at least near like-minded people. Shamefully I admit that I haven’t been nearly as diligent about this as I should have. And it is a shame because the advice was timely and sincere from a man I love like a brother. Yet still, I remembered what he said and grabbed a shovel. I wouldn’t let the pretty snow be my excuse for not making it to the function I was invited to that night.

Excavating the car

The first picture is from my first wave of shoveling after ninety minutes of the heave-ho. I looked at the edge of the driveway, piled high with plowed snow, and retreated to breakfast, which I should have started with. Half-an-hour later, I make my way back outside and hear a fluttering from behind me. Four small birds have parked themselves in the garage. Small, brown, roundish birds that have been showing up everywhere in the area recently. (There were a half dozen hiding under my snow-covered car.) I’ve got no beef with birds; I gently shooed them out into the yard, all of them taking the same route circling the back of the garage out. Except for one that stayed perched on the rear shelf. It was very pretty with pale feathers. So grey they were almost blue. “Come on, girl,” I said. “This way.” And she was off to catch up with the crew while I closed the garage. No more loitering today.

Not long after receiving some blessed help from a neighbor I pushed off to my old job site to visit. Fun fact about radio: even when the world is snowed in, the stations still play. And if you’re responsible for several of them, someone (or several) has to show up and make things go. A visit of solidarity, but mostly I just needed to kill time.

I was the last one to arrive at the function, which was indeed video game related. This blog has its own segments dedicated to gaming talk, so I’ll save the details for that. All you really need to know is that we played Super Smash Bros. 64 a.k.a. the version I’ve played the least since I started playing Melee [checks notes] in 2003. Apparently, I’m good with Yoshi, the most difficult character in the game. I hope to get more chances to play the game and experiment and just hang out.

The roads were clear the whole way back home. Maybe just a little bit soggy. Driving has become a good cleanser for me. It’s hard for your mind to go to any untoward places when you have to focus on Not Dying. I never realized how crazy dangerous driving is until I started commuting regularly. All those years up and down the freeway. It’s by the grace that I wasn’t creamed by some truck or drunken driver.

When it’s a late night and I’m one of two or three people passing through – or, better still, I have the road to myself – I ease out of cruising speed and apply the SpongeBob-branded Big Toe to the gas pedal and watch the night creep by. There was overcast on this night, so I couldn’t see the sky. When I can, I’m guided home by the celestial bodies, illuminating my path even when there are no lamp posts within miles. My favorite is riding on a warm night with the window down and seeing clearly one or several shooting stars arching across the sky. It's a vibe.

I notice it even before I pull up to my house past midnight. A deathly, almost unnatural silence. When the weather is even partially mild, you can sense the activity. You could never hope to see the insects or amphibians or woodland fuzzies lurking about, but you knew they were out there. Somewhere. They likely still are. When it snows, though, everything…stops. Nature is smarter than us. We brave the elements to work and eat and play Smash. When Nature takes a day off, you notice. There was a minute-long pause by me as I locked my car. I swear if someone was talking fifty-yards away I might have heard it.

You know that strange colored glow you get when there’s a heavy cloud cover over a well-lit town? A scene out of Dmitry Levin’s dreams. If I had a proper camera, I’d have taken a stroll around the neighborhood to get some street level shots of the newly-frosted landscape. I used to take photos all the time, especially while in school. It’s been years since I’ve invested in myself. I think that will be the next order of business.

After ducking inside I got back to work on this entry. Thought about staying up to finish it, decided on getting a proper night of rest. As noted at the top, my arm was protesting the rest of my body. I did him a solid and turned in, finished the rest before heading in to work.

Not sure how to finish this one. I’ll say thanks for playing, as I always do. I appreciate the eyeballs however they come. There are lots of friends that stop by the blog and lots of strangers, too. I’m thankful for all of you. I don’t ordinarily write stuff…like this? Something was off and needed to change. At this moment, the one thing I can change is my head space. Dumping every last one of these words seems like the best course. With hope, I can get back to making actual “Content!” like you’re used to.

It was good to get out. Good to meet new folks. Good to see old faces. Good to be breathing. Blessings Be.