Sunday, December 31, 2017

Take Me To Orc Church | Review - BRIGHT




To be upfront:

Before I knew anything about Bright at all, I thought it was a good idea for Netflix to bankroll the movie. They have in the last 5-to-7 years become the new face of entertainment consumption and have given rise to a whole wave of stream-exclusive services and the products that occupy them. Dipping their toe into the feature film end of the pool could only help and after watching the movie, I still feel that way.

But I did watch the movie. And...well.

It's on Netflix if you want it.


Bright is a movie that features fantasy-inspired creatures living amongst humans in our modern day world. Just like in real life, there is a socioeconomic hierarchy that is very tangible. Elves represent the One Percent: the World Runners and holders of wealth. Humans of all races and creeds exist as a standard middle class. Not prospering but not persecuted, either. Persecution is reserved for the Orcs: a race of creatures that aided the Dark Lord in a massive war over 2,000 years ago - they have been shunned for the deed ever since. Oh, and Fairies seem to be mindless animals. Make of that what you will.

In this movie, we follow one human and one Orc. Officer Daryl Ward (Will Smith) is back on the job at LAPD after suffering critical injuries due to the negligence of his partner, Nick Jakoby (Joel Edgerton), who is the nation's first Orc police officer.

Will Smith is just okay with an affected charisma so glaring, one must wonder if rooting for this protagonist would be done so in irony. Not so for Joel Edgerton, who gives his all under a pile of Orc makeup. He's the only character in the movie that doesn't compromise himself and his struggle is the easiest to empathize with. Thankfully so, as development of any kind gets lost under a shower of bullets and F-bombs.


It becomes clear immediately what message the movie is trying to deliver. The Orcs - FUBU jerseys and all - are whatever marginalized minority group you want to plug in. African-Americans and Latinos especially fit the bill. Ward's fellow human officers ask how he could possibly stand having "that pigface" (yeah, really) in his car. Ward says he can't, but that he's making the most of it as a professional.

It was about at this point that I realized this movie takes place in Gotham City. I know our heroes are in the LAPD and the movie points out any time it can that we're in LA, but... This is Gotham, folks. Nevermind that they spend half the film running the streets in gallons of rain (which doesn't happen that often in Southern California) but it seems that every single cop is corrupt to some varying degree. Officer Ward is confronted, in the same day, by two groups: two Internal Affairs officials who want him to illegally tape Jakoby lying about letting the Orc perp who shot him escape, and four beat cops who want Ward to shoot Jakoby at a crime scene and report it as a crossfire shooting.


The crime scene in question occurs at a safehouse where Ward and Jakoby encounter a magic wand and a Bright: a special magic-user capable of absorbing a wand's power with no buffer. Remember in Harry Potter how a wand was merely an outlet for a user's abilities and were treated with barely enough reverence to avoid being used as butt-scratchers? Well, in this world, they are described (via actual words written down) as "a nuclear weapon that grants wishes."

This means, obviously, that everyone wants it: the Cops, the Orcs, the Elves. Even the Cholos, lead by paraplegic gangster, Poison (Enrique Murciano). So, maybe now is a good time to mention that this is a David Ayer production. It was directed by him as well, so it totally makes sense why this movie features a grown man in a wheelchair uttering the phrase, "I need that magic wand, mang!"


Bright was written by Max Landis but it can't exactly be called a Landis script. He certainly wrote the story, and I give him credit for creating a unique concept and mythology. Adjustments could be made but the foundation is solid. You can see what he was going for and these extreme genre melds have become a staple of his writing. It appears however that Landis turned in his copy to Netflix some time ago, wherein the company handed it to Ayer, who promptly rewrote it to suit his Locker Room Talk needs.

Yet again, it's David Ayer up to his old tricks.

Cops - check.
LA - check.
'The Hood' - check.
Latino Gangsters - check.
Crime & Pestilence - double check.

Also evidenced is Ayer's apparent inability to write a female character of any consequence (Harley Quinn aside.) The two ladies playing Ward's wife and daughter (Dawn Olivieri and Scarlet Spencer, respectively) by all accounts seem to be good actors. You couldn't tell, though, as they get maybe five minutes of screen time before they are ushered off stage left. They could have not been in the movie at all; but work is hard to come by, so hopefully it leads to more for them.

Margaret Cho's Squad Sergeant is also ethically compromised and presents Ward with an interesting moral dilemma. But it's a character that can be played by any gender, and she is also gone after five minutes of screen time.

Then, there's Noomi Rapace: a great character actor who is wasted as the Elf Parkour Assassin, Leilah. She serves a hidden master and speaks in exposition, so any potential menace she holds as a villain disappears almost immediately. She and fellow Elf, Tikka (Lucy Fry) were both reduced to tropes in the same year that Wonder Woman destroyed the Summer Box Office.


It was eye-opening to watch this film with an LA native who paused the streaming service repeatedly to point out the several affluent neighborhoods Ayer tried to pass off as South Central and 'Da Barrio.' Ward, who is drowning in debt, lives in a house that is actually worth close to a quarter of a million dollars.

And from a technical standpoint, what a sloppy effort this is. The editing is haphazard at best and utterly lazy at worst, and the sound mix is bad to the point of distraction. A shotgun blast in one frame is overpowered by a line from Ward two seconds later. If Netflix truly wants to break into the big feature market, they have to give a better effort.


I've seen this movie called the worst of 2017. I can tell you that's not true. To do that, Bright would have to be worse than the two movies tied for that distinction: The Emoji Movie and The Snowman. 2018 will no doubt feature films as bad or worse, but for 2017, beating those films in badness is mathematically impossible.

But this movie isn't good. No getting around that. I don't hate it, because it seems like a waste of energy. I only decided to watch it because I was with a friend and we actively tore the movie apart. At the end, while fulfilled, I had no desire to see any portion of the movie a second time. It honestly seems like a film that the Instagram Generation can watch to feel like it 'made them think.'

After seeing the class war in Blade Runner 2049, this felt like an elementary level comprehension and for some people, that'll work fine. It sets up the universe, presents the mythology and, in terms of garnering interest for a follow-up, it succeeded mostly. Many people will eagerly await the continuing adventures of Ward and Jakoby on the mean streets of LA. But I'm not one of them.

This picture gets one extra star for the uncredited makeup team, who did pretty good.

2 Stars out of 5

Friday, December 15, 2017

Ultralight Beam | Review - Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi




This isn’t going to go how you think.

These were the first words uttered by Luke in the first official trailer for Star Wars Episode VIII. He warned us all and still we chose not to listen. Well, listen to me now:

Like Blade Runner 2049, this is not a movie that can be properly discussed unless it is spoiled all to shit. So, I will do that in time.  As usual, look out for Rocket and Baby Groot – and if you haven’t seen the movie, close this tab once you see them. They’re…a tiny tree man and an alien who looks like a raccoon. Can’t miss ‘em.

First, without spoiling. This movie is a rollercoaster.

From the very beginning when we see ace Rebel pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) taking out cannons on a First Order Star Destroyer, it’s clear that the Resistance is in dire straits and severely outgunned. In a desperate struggle to even the odds, Poe leads an attack against one of the enemy’s Destroyers. The operation is successful, but at the cost of their entire bombing fleet. This sets up a deadly game of cat-and-mouse between Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis) and the last three ships of the Resistance, as they fight to stay out of range of the massive ship’s Auto-Cannons.

Meanwhile, on a lonely island on the Outer Rim we see young Rey [REDACTED], who has located Jedi Master Luke Skywalker to convince him (or not) to return to battle and save the galaxy from unending darkness. And then… the movie starts.

This section will be very quick, seeing as I can’t spoil anything just yet. I liked this movie. I liked it more than The Force Awakens. I had my issues to be sure and I’ll list them in detail. But I can’t really do it without seeming like I’m nitpicking or perhaps didn’t like the film as much as I let on. There’s just a lot to talk about.

Also, I will say no – this is not Empire Redux. There are beats and there are moments, but all of these are what amount to, ‘Hey look, it’s Star Wars!’ moments. They didn’t lift an entire movie from thirty years ago; there is no second Death Star [SPOILER]. What we have instead is the Homecoming Effect.

Homecoming as in Spiderman: Homecoming. A movie that overcame its shortcomings through a combination of great execution and superb acting top to bottom. There was more to like than there wasn’t, and the stuff to like was so good that it very nearly overshadowed the stuff that wasn’t.

Nearly.

I do need to state, however, that this film marks a clear shift in the lore of Star Wars. Longtime fans of the franchise might not recognize what they see on screen. This movie – more than The Force Awakens and Rogue One before it – ushers in a new Star Wars era. However you feel about that might tell how you feel about this movie.

A solid effort that starts good, gets poor, then ends excellent. Worth seeing on the big screen. Make it part of your holiday plans.

4 Stars Out Of 5









Everyone here?
Can we pull over into Spoiler Town? Cool.

There’s another reason I compare The Last Jedi to Homecoming. Both films had Second Acts, both long and convoluted in their nature but were both saved by either a character or a set piece. One such subplot in Star Wars 8 introduces a neat character, but see if you can follow along until then.

The First Order’s fleet has been tracking the Resistance through hyperspace, which is (previously) impossible, but it turns out it’s only being done through one ship. That would be the head ship, housed by Snoke. So, Finn (John Boyega) and his other pilot friend, Rose Tico (Kelly Marie Tran), decide that the only way to escape is to disable the tracker from the inside, which they could do – if only they could sneak past the hourly encryption. One Skype call with Maz Kanata (Lupita Nyong’o), and they make a trek to a gathering of the rottenest scoundrels in the galaxy.


Not that one

A casino is where this trip takes them to find a master hacker with a flower lapel, who can sneak them past Snoke’s defenses, and give the Resistance enough time to warp unseen, but not before they run out of fuel, or else they’re screwed.

To put it nicely, this subplot is superfluous at best and a waste of film at worst. And it’s rendered null-and-void by the third act because A) They get caught and Dos) Half the Rebel Fleet gets blown up during the escape. What saved this middle portion for me was a combination of a very unique chase sequence featuring odd new horse-like creatures and Benicio Del Toro on my screen. An actor you can always expect a solid effort from, and he gives one here as DJ, the master hacker whom Rose and Finn meet on a whim in the brig after being arrested for illegal parking (lol). He teaches Finn a valuable lesson about the nature of War and shades of grey. It’s something that could’ve been expanded, if only our antagonist wasn’t so torn on which side he was on.

Oh. That’s right. Did I forget to mention?

Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) murders Supreme Leader Snoke. Not only does he murder him – he Darth Maul’s him. Straight cuts your boy in half. How’s that for a spoiler? Rather than kill Rey and complete his Sith training, he kills his Supreme Leader and disregards both sides of the war, leading to perhaps the best lightsaber fight sequence in Star Wars history, with Kylo and Rey engaging Snoke’s elite guard. It’s a massive swerve, and one that leaves a lot of questions. What does Ben want? Was it really just to turn Rey? She gave little indication of doing so, even during their telepathic bonding exercises. Does he really want to rule the galaxy?

And let’s not forget Rey. So much of her journey has been focused on her lineage, as in who are her parents, where does she come from? The fact is, she really doesn’t come from anywhere. Similar to Blade Runner 2049 where Officer K believes he is a special hybrid, only to be informed that he’s just another Replicant wrapped up in a story not his own. Rey’s parents (to borrow a phrase from Leia) were a couple of nerf-herding scavengers who sold their only daughter for drinking water. They are dead and buried in a pauper’s grave. No one to know; no one to care. The lesson here is the same as Blade Runner, of course. Your actions are what make you important, not your origins. How she became so powerful in the Force doesn’t really matter. It’s her will to do the right thing for her friends and Daisy Ridley sells that. But that’s not the only performance worth noting.




This wasn’t just Mark Hamill’s best performance as Luke Skywalker – this was his best performance period. It's an outing worthy of the legend. So much of this film’s emotional weight fell on him and he delivered far past what could have been expected for the eighth sequential Star Wars movie. His job, mostly, as an aging Jedi who has closed himself off from the force, is to convey great conflict without words. He does this with his facial expression and body language and lets us peer into the soul of a character who has suffered alone and in silence for three decades. His character arc and its resolution are very satisfying and one of the things that keeps this movie from being average for me.

There are many things in this movie that confound me. The rebels’ escape plan (or lack thereof); General Leia’s resuscitation from the vacuum of outer space that even ‘miraculous’ couldn’t properly describe; the abandoned salt planet that upper command decided would be where the Resistance regrouped.

Make no mistake: Commander Poe was a bit of a dick throughout this movie, to the point of being demoted even. But did no one think to inform him or anyone else about the plan to flee to the conveniently placed Rebel Base? You can say that was the plan all along, and I can say it’s bogus. One of the biggest no-no’s in storytelling is adding new information, and that’s exactly what this is. At no point was it referenced that an uncharted world was waiting for them. One extra line of exposition and this criticism wouldn’t be needed. As it stands, words must be had.

The extra drama isn’t necessary. They’re already running for their lives. No extra tension is needed inside the ship. We certainly don’t need a mutiny. Imagine a Second Act built entirely around the chase. The plan from the jump is to make it to the salt planet (and you still do your hacker subplot to get Finn back on Snoke’s ship to face down Phasma) and the crew sits helpless as they burn fuel knowing this is their only chance to survive. They flee the cruiser in transport ships and set the stage for the final conflict.

The Last Jedi can be broken up into four segments: the beginning battle and Rey’s first days with Luke; the scheme at the casino; Snoke’s death and the fall of his Destroyer; and the final battle on the barren planet.

I’ll say it again. The middle portion of this movie will seem tough to get through at times. But if you do make it through you will be handsomely rewarded. Believe me when I say that the final forty minutes of The Last Jedi is the best Star Wars film I’ve ever seen. Pure, Grade-A, 100% genuine Star Wars action. It cannot be missed and is worth the price of admission.


I believe that when critiquing a movie, one should always look at everything it has to offer. Take note of its shortcomings, don’t overlook them, but be willing to give credit to a film that gets its story back on track. That’s just what Episode VIII did and it’s better for it. The sum of its parts are better than its missing pieces. Even though there are several of them.

The things that stick with you best from any media are what you see first and last. Starting with an epic battle and ending with an all-time iconic moment are what will take this installment in the Star Wars franchise from a passerby to a mainstay.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Was It Real, Tho? | [Spoiler] Review - Blade Runner 2049




Several years ago, I pen palled with a woman from Chicago. She’s very bright and we had many a conversation about a wide range of things. She moved and we lost touch but I can only imagine her rolling her eyes at the fact of me seeing this movie three times. She might even be right to do so, but I unapologetically love this movie.

In-between those viewings, I have read other pieces that have given me new things to think about – things that warranted a revisit to the id-driven cyberpunk futurescape of California in the year 2049, where the richest of society is living in space colonies off-world, leaving everyone else to scrape by a meager living on an overpopulated, environmentally toxic Planet Earth.

It took me awhile to figure how to tackle it. Even myself and Lunchbox together had trouble. It's a massive, dense story. There’s gender politics and class politics and, quite frankly, a really confusing hierarchy in a place where the precipitation is toxic. Would we really discriminate against the only beings fit to work in those conditions? Think back on the year 2017 and use your imagination.

It’s 30 years after the first adventure and Replicants (bioengineered synthetic humans), for a time, had been banned. Tyrell Corp, the original manufacturer is seen in the movie as a blackened husk of inactivity. Not repurposed or demolished, it is an unspoken rule to never approach the building, or its memory, for any reason.


That means you, Simba.

Officer KD6 – 3.7 (Ryan Gosling) is a new model of Replicant completely subservient to his human masters. He works for the LAPD as a Blade Runner tracking down older model Nexus 6 Replicants that went AWOL after the blackout. He is forced to confront Tyrell’s legacy head-on when his search for Sapper Morton (Dave Bautista) unearths a secret decades-buried that will challenge the nature of Replicants everywhere as well as the dynamic with the humans they serve.

Tyrell’s tomb is now in the shadow of a building belonging to Niander Wallace (Jared Leto), an industrialist whom one could imagine was the original trajectory for Tony Stark had he not gotten the shrapnel in his chest. Wallace has solved the food crisis and seemingly averted humanity’s collapse on Earth. He decides, though, that only Replicants, who consume a fraction of the resources, can continue living on a planet so depleted.

Without saying too much before the spoiler section, this is what I like to call a Grown Ass Movie. It’s over two-and-a-half hours long and while it’s running it commands your attention. It bombards you with its themes and motifs, of which there are many. After my first viewing of this film, all I could really do was exhale. And then proceed to take the long way home from the cinema.

This is both a strength and a setback. Cinephiles like myself will have no problem letting themselves be immersed in a world this visually dark and beautiful and engrossing. That doesn’t change the fact that the film feels bloated - the first act especially so. Most viewers will be wondering throughout the first hour, what the story even is or, at the least, when it will pick up. That doesn’t make it a bad movie, but it doesn’t make it a perfect one, either.

At least a half point must be docked for the failing of the Bechdel Test: quite a feat for a movie with so many prominent female characters including Joi (Ana de Armas) K’s holographic girlfriend (in the vein of Spike Jonze’s Her) and Lt. Joshi (Robin Wright) his cut-the-crap supervisor on the force. These performances were the most complex and measured of the film, including Luv (Sylvia Hoeks), the Replicant serving as personal assistant to Wallace on all matters.

It's been so long since I’ve been able to sit down and just watch a movie. What we have here isn’t the action-driven blockbuster you perhaps have been sold. I can hardly even call it a thriller. It’s a true film noir – a detective story through and through. Officer K does actual foot work. None of the flashy procedural stuff you see on your mom’s favorite CBS crime drama. He follows his leads to various unassuming locations, interviewing people and collecting data and finding clues along the way.

This is also the most practical film I’ve seen for its scale in ages. All of the tracking shots here are handled with miniature models, as well as massive soccer-field-sized set pieces to lend to the world’s weight and density. The legendary Roger Deakins has shot another visual masterpiece and when the movie hits home markets, I hope people discover a new level of wonder for each practical effect that they were sure was Computer Generated.

I thought for a long time about the world presented in 2049 and the trajectory of our own world. Given the rate of human birth and the effects of global climate change, it’s plausible to imagine a near future where we too will have insects, not cattle, as our primary source of protein. The resource crisis is real, and it’s right now.

As for the movie, I see one constant in which our world mirrors the cyberpunk noir fantasy presented by director Denis Villnueve: the stark lack of nuance.

With every review I’ve read, the reaction can be summed up with the phrase, “Blade Runner 2049 is the best movie of the year, but-” For the sake of keeping with the director’s wishes and not spoiling the whole story, this is the correct reaction to have. It’s the B-U-T, though, that spoils any review that could be written.

Film critic Emily Yoshida wrote an excellent piece for the Vulture website where she questioned, simply, why all sci-fi epics are seemingly obsessed with depicting giant scantily-clad women. It’s a good question, and one I wouldn’t have considered before reading it. Based upon the comments on the article, you would think she attacked every reader personally for liking this movie, even though she clearly didn’t (and also liked the movie!)

For years, in all walks of life, we have been playing a zero-sum game. There is no middle ground, no gray area. You must love my position unconditionally. If you don’t, it means you love the other one and I hate you. None of these people could ever tell you why that’s true, and it’s that same dynamic that leads to Humans hating Replicants – their own creations. You can heap whatever praise you want on whatever work, but as soon as that B-U-T comes up, an alarm sounds and every word after – spoken or written – is utterly ignored.

It goes without saying, but real life doesn’t work like this. For movies like Blade Runner and its sequel, that duality makes for compelling character work and drama. For things like public discourse and government bodies, it’s perhaps the worst thing that can happen.

Honestly, It’s tough to even criticize this movie without spoiling it – which I will do. For the moment, know that whatever criticisms I have should not stop you from seeing this film. It’s worth the time spent. Nevermind that it’s the sequel of a movie that really didn’t need one. It’s a movie that I’m glad got made, and one I’ll enjoy for years on.

4.5 Stars out of 5






So, perhaps you’re wondering why I’ve waited until now to mention Harrison Ford. Well, while his presence alone isn’t a spoiler, his reason for being present definitely is. As the story goes: after Rachael and Deckard vanished 30 years ago, they, by some miracle, conceived a child which Rachael died giving birth to. Finding that child is the main conflict of the film but you shouldn’t expect too much of Deckard, who doesn’t appear until the third act.

While you could divvy up this movie into the traditional Three Act format (the first hour, the second hour and the last 40 minutes) I prefer to view it in Four Acts. Number One is the presentation of the mystery and The Question. Number Two sees Officer K begin his investigation and his search for the Replicant child. Number Three is where K (seemingly) solves the mystery and tracks down Deckard, who is in hiding. Number Four is the final conflict, where K sheds his android nature and asserts himself to be his own person.

The biggest swerve of this movie comes in two parts, separated by a large amount of time. It begins in an abandoned factory in San Diego where K finds a small toy horse that an implanted memory would lead him to believe is his own. He visits Dr. Ana Stelline, a maker of implants, to see just what separates a real memory from a fake one. She confirms, yes, his memory of protecting his toy horse is very real – but it’s not his own.

The most elusive fact is often the most obvious, as it were. In a very Nolan-esque twist, it was a little girl we see running through the factory, fighting for the only piece of humanity she has left. A toy made out of real wood which, like most organics (sans the bees K discovers in Las Vegas) is all but extinct. It’s suggested that Ana herself gave K the memory as she views it and begins to cry. She recognizes that Officer K is having a massive existential crisis and it’s likely because of the decision she made. Her intention was to give a Replicant an authentic memory to look back fondly upon whenever their present life became too bleak. But as usual in Blade Runner’s world, even acts of kindness are harshly punished.

It’s after this we see K escape Los Angeles (with Joi in tow) and track down Rick Deckard in a fallout-ridden Las Vegas. In one of the most gorgeous set pieces of the film, everything is tinged with a burnt auburn orange and covered in a heavy layer of dust, showcasing years of abandonment.

[When you’re not performing your duties, do they put you in a little box? CELLS]

Sitting down at a bar, Deckard asks K his name and he answers with the name Joi gave him: Joe. It’s one of many “show, don’t tell” moments, in this case, about the development of a character who, a couple days earlier, believed himself to be little more than a weapon for the LAPD. When Luv arrives to capture Deckard and crush Joi’s emanator, thus destroying her AI, we see the fight leave K’s eyes as he’s left to die on the floor of Deckard’s postmortem casino penthouse.

[What’s it like to hold the hand of someone you love? INTERLINKED]

He is rescued by a group of rogue replicants and, in a scene that feels like it was filmed after the fact, is told of a coming rebellion – Humans v Replicants. He’s also told that Rachael gave birth to a girl and the swerve from the end of “Act 2” comes back ‘round to blindside both Joe and the audience. It’s a gut-punch, and well-performed, but I still could have done without the extra scene. It’s all a bit superfluous. Just seeing K picked up by the vagrants and then cutting to him on the rainy balcony would have been fine.

[Do you long for having your heart interlinked? INTERLINKED]

The first time we see K and Joi in the rain, he has bought her an emanator, which allows her to integrate her image outside of the projection system installed in his home. He tells her she can go wherever she wants, and she chooses to go outside. They share a touching and tender moment that is cut short by a call from Lt. Joshi – a reminder that our hero was about to make out with an answering machine. The second time we see them in the rain, Joe is alone and is solicited by a large, pink nude version of his Joi model. It’s an advertisement and is almost cartoonish in its sexuality. K’s own Joi model never approached him in such a way; he looks confused before the advertisement points at him and says, “You look like a good Joe.”

[Do you feel that there’s a part of you that’s missing? INTERLINKED]

With renewed vigor, K commandeers a spinner and flies to the metal shores of Southern California to keep Deckard from being shipped off-world. He kills everyone (including Luv) during the rescue. Once again, we see how important pacing is. K avoids violence through much of this movie, despite being very powerful himself. That way, when it’s time for him to get physical (breaking a landfill scavenger in half over his knee) it explodes off the screen.

Freysa - a military-issue black ops Replicant - and Luv both had specific plans for Rick Deckard. Freysa wants him dead to reduce the risk of Wallace discovering her whereabouts. Luv wants him for the sake of her boss, believing he will unlock the secret to Replicant reproduction – the minority becomes the majority. K disregards both, instead choosing Option C: Save Deckard and get him to his daughter, whom he has never met.

[What’s it like to hold your child in your arms? INTERLINKED]

K suffers critical injuries in his battle with Luv. Once he’s flown Deckard to Stelline Laboratories, K does something that would no doubt have Roy Batty himself weeping at the Universe’s cruel indifference. To call him ‘Officer’ K would presume he had an occupation. What he had, really, was an operation. Replicants are bioengineered slaves. K then is a stray dog with no master and has next to no chance of passing his PTSD Public Safety Exam that separates the good androids from the ‘retired’ ones.

As hard as it is to top the “Tears in Rain” monologue that closed the original, 2049 comes damn close as K eases himself down onto the steps and waits for his end. It’s an iconic scene: here we have a character we’ve followed and seen get used and abused for the better part of 3 hours. He fights tooth and nail for even a single scrap of agency and when he finally gets it, he uses it to save someone else and then die alone.

[A blood black nothingness began to spin.]

Backtracking now:

After my second viewing I decided that we got exactly enough of Jared Leto as Niander Wallace. He gives a measured, methodical and often deeply unsettling performance. He is a human who ironically lacks the empathy of K, a Replicant, and makes no qualms of killing off his own creations if they fail to meet his standards. His motivations seem to be a mix between big business exceptionalism and an incorrigible God Complex.

But what about Luv?

This character is made complex enough, but not truly fleshed out. It’s made clear she wants nothing more than to please Wallace (who more than once calls her the best of his ‘Angels’) and even K notes that she was special enough to receive a name, as opposed to a serial number. At the same time, it’s impossible not to notice the fear she has of Wallace. She is jumpy and cagey around him – constantly on defense. These are classic warning signs of someone who has been abused repeatedly. She may be special, but she’s still a Replicant.

In one of the short films produced by Warner Bros. to fill in the gap between the two movies, Wallace orders one of his Replicants to kill themselves in front of a group of investors as proof of their subservience. Wallace’s Nexus 9 models are far more powerful, but also far more controlled. It’s Gaslighting: The Movie. How else to explain Luv being so fearful of a smaller, weaker blind man? Their slavery is encoded into their DNA. To the point where K can’t even look his human co-workers in the eye.

Does Luv truly want a grand future where Tyrell’s vision of a being “More Human Than Humans” comes to pass? If so, how does she reconcile the fact that Niander Wallace would be controlling that future? Are the fates of Luv and K truly preordained, or is there a reality where they wonder aloud if they should even be fighting each other?

A few moments more devoted to the above queries would have elevated a great movie into a perfect one.

[Is there security in being part of the system? SYSTEM]

When K shows hesitance in retiring something that was born, (“To be born is to have a soul, I guess.”) Lt. Joshi reassures(?) him, saying he’s been getting on fine without a soul. This is the first and most important question of the Id-driven Blade Runner universe. Is K fine without a soul? What even is a soul? When do we have one? Can it be gained? Can it be lost?

Joe’s choice to save Deckard was in some ways, an odd one. The whole point of finding the child in the first place is to avoid a massive conflict. The Humans and Replicants are separated by an imaginary wall – one Class above another. With the knowledge that Nexus 6 models can perhaps reproduce, there is no Wall. No more Slave and Master dynamic. Even understanding this possibility – even with all the abuse he’s suffered – Joe forgoes this and helps Deckard fake his death, so that the man can hold his daughter and Ana can get a proper birthday party.

It’s a sentimental, selfish decision that disregards the dreams of his entire race, but it’s human and it’s his. Our actions outlive us all and our memories are kept alive through the affect that we have on people. It’s why Roy Batty saved Rick Deckard in 2019 and it’s why Joe did the same in 2049.

The need to leave a legacy is the most human thing there is.

And so, the Blade Runner thesis can be summed up in this single interaction Joe has in Vegas with Deckard and his dog.

“Is it real?”

“I don’t know. Ask him.”


[WITHIN CELLS INTERLINKED WITHIN CELLS INTERLINKED WITHIN CELLS INTERLINKED]

Friday, May 5, 2017

Mary Poppins, Y'all | Review - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2



I feel like we should talk about director James Gunn’s fascination with Howard the Duck. Another Guardians film; another cameo. Is a remake coming? Will he be directing it? Or is this just one of several memes to be associated with future appearances of The Space Avengers.

The biggest meme in regard to The Guardians of the Galaxy – even Volume 2 – is that, for lack of a better term, they just do shit. The Avengers managed to save New York and by extension the World, only after screwing it up the first go-round. The Guardians saved the Galaxy on their first try, but mainly for their own benefit.

A few years ago, they were a bunch of jackasses standing in a circle. As the movie begins, we see them as a bunch of rich jackasses standing in a circle; prepared to defend the Sovereign space colony from a giant monster that wants to feed on their power source. Rocket is not a giant space worm, but he is a scoundrel and also shows interest in the Sovereign's batteries.

The ensuing chase and space battle leaves the team stranded on a distant planet where they meet Kurt Kenobi Russell, Peter Quill’s long-lost dad who left his only son in the care of space pirates as the boy’s mother slowly succumbed to a brain tumor.


The rest of the movie only vaguely resembles the Super Space Road Trip that the first movie did (subsidiary plot line notwithstanding). No, Vol. 2 in the Adventures of Star-Lord and Pals is all about family and the lengths we are willing to go for them.

Is this different? Yes.

Is this good? Also yes.

It’s a bit more of an introspection, this flick. As a sequel, it definitely feels like one. It’s bigger and it’s longer, but its themes are largely its own. Peter and his dad have catching up to do. Gamora and her sister Nebula have a score to settle. Rocket has his own issues and Captain Yondu is reeling from a mutiny on his own ship.

Whether or not you can get through that might decide what you think of this movie, because once we get to the action, dammit, it’s time for action.

Now, some notes from my screening.

Full disclosure: I am from Missouri. It’s where I saw this movie, and so when the first shot of the movie is of young, CG Kurt Russell driving through what the movie has titled as “Missouri” 1980, the theater promptly loses their minds. I had to look over to my friend in question. What exactly were we cheering for?

The crowd was active the entire night, just like when I saw the first Guardians. The movie was funny and they responded throughout. Midnight Movie Madness takes a bit to recover from, especially when I decide to write directly after, but it’s always a treat with films like this.

The soundtrack, once again is great to listen to and Big Dave Bautista continues to be a revelation as Drax the Destroyer. Having watched him for a decade as a pro wrestler, I can safely say that this is my favorite version of him. After his run with Marvel is through, I hope we haven’t seen the last of him on screen.

I’ll get into a brief spoiler discussion after the jump below (beware!) but I had fun with this one. It’s not as good objectively as the first movie – it’s cartoonish to the point of absurdity and some of the performers really seem to ham it up with that in mind – but it’s not without its own merits. If your selling point for the original was the characters and the humor, you’ll love this, because you’ll get to spend a lot more time with the Guardians: the jackasses who get to save the Galaxy twice.

3.5 Stars out of 5




So, Star-Lord’s dad Ego (a bit on the nose, huh, folks?) is revealed to be a celestial being of unimaginable power. He tells Peter he is immortal and has been alive for eons, quite literally spreading his seed amongst the stars.

Right away you know something is off. Never mind he calls himself Ego. He is depicted in the movie, as I said earlier, by the veteran Kurt Russell – grey beard and all. But if he’s immortal, why come to Peter in the shape of an old man? Wonder Woman is immortal, too, but she never ages more than her prime years.

Sure enough. Ego’s plan is akin to dimensional genocide. He looks to spread his “light” throughout the cosmos, at the cost of countless lives. However, he makes the same mistake General Zod did in Man of Steel when he was convincing Kal-El to let him destroy humanity.

Ego, terrible pitch man that he is, reveals he was the one who put the tumor in Peter’s mom. Peter responds by breaking himself out of the trance and promptly shooting Ego to pieces. This hit home, as I have also only seen my dad three times; the last of which involved him being a giant asshole to my mom for no discernable reason. Star-Lord had the appropriate response. I can tell you I’m a better person now because he did not live with us.

Also, sit tight after the credits roll. There are a number of stingers in this one. Most of them are just funny slice-of-life gag reels but there is one that has significant bearings on the future of the MCU. I had to do some research myself, and just happened to find an article that puts things into perspective from a comics standpoint. 2018, here we come!

Friday, March 31, 2017

Re-Booking The Feud

I should precede this by saying I’ve always been more of a Marvel Comics guy. Emphasis on ‘Comics.’ The stories of Marvel comics are usually more connected to their superhero origins. There’s a bit more Fun n’ Fancy Free which suits my style a bit more. However, there’s always been a soft spot present for DC because of the characters they have crafted and the worlds they inhabit. I think they all have so much depth. There doesn’t seem to be any end to the stories you could tell. So putting the two greatest heroes of all time on the same screen seems like a no-brainer.

Dawn of Justice was…not a good movie. It was an entertaining movie in spots. It was a LOUD movie throughout. But it was not a good movie.

Many factors contributed to this unfortunate turn of events. For one, Zack Snyder isn’t the best storyteller. That doesn’t mean he’s not good. He just isn’t good at directing. His true talent to me has always been in the producer’s chair and never in the director’s chair. As a producer, the way he frames shots, especially in terms of action is incredible. So, it’s no surprise that this was an incredible movie to see, visually.

Like most of you (or some of you, I can’t assume) I have been following these stories for much of my life and as silly as it may seem to an outsider – or movie producer – there are very real emotions associated with and summoned by these otherwise fictional characters. It’s an investment. As such, I can’t let the screenwriters off the hook, here. David S. Goyer and Chris Terrio wrote a decent story, but when it came time to fill in the blanks with a good screenplay, the struggles were apparent. Writing isn’t easy, and it’s easy to tell when someone hasn’t connected with the source material.
So, what brings us here?

Of the many things my mom taught me - and there were many – the one I found the most valuable was the art of being proactive. “If you don’t like something, think about what you can do to improve the situation. It doesn’t make sense to do nothing.” I paraphrase but just know for the record my mother didn’t suffer complainers lightly in her household.

That’s why, just a month removed from seeing the movie in theaters, news of the Ultimate Edition on the horizon, my proclamation of rewriting the movie to my friend and co-worker was met with the predictable delayed wutface.

What do you mean you’re going to rewrite the whole movie?

I mean I’m going to rewrite the whole goddamn movie. More accurately write the movie I’d thought I might see. Because you see when I pay for my ticket stub and it says…
DAWN OF JUSTICE

I expect to have an action-packed, drama-filled, SOOPER LOUD thrill ride of a movie that possibly has Supes and Bats fighting but ends with them as bros AND with the rest of the Justice League standing tall atop a sun-crested hill.

The DAWN of Justice

Instead…  Superman is dead, Batman runs off to find Barry and Wonder Woman runs off…somewhere?


The DUSK of Justice.

The name of that file before I downloaded it was actually – no bullshit: Batman and Wonder Woman Stand Over Lois Cradling Superman’s Corpse. Dead bodies are full of hope, right? Death is a good allegory for Dawn, yes? It’s like playing through a Castlevania and you finally beat it but you took too long so you get the Bad Ending.

Damn, he's not gonna be in JL Pt. 1
Where the hell is everyone going? We’ve gotta do some shit! Oh, what’s that? Clark is alive actually? Well, good thing we didn’t just sit through two-and-a-half hours of movie or this might have been a complete waste of time!

Anyway!

Back to near present day: I explain to my friend that my vision for this story is to have it focus mostly on Bruce and Diana as they meet during their separate spying of LexCorp and work together to find the other members of the not-yet-named JL before Lex Luthor does. This is for a few reasons. Well more than a few but, in order first.

~One of the good points of the movie for me was the (far too) brief cat-and-mouse game Bruce and Diana found themselves in during the first act. Bruce was caught between being equally attracted to and unnerved by this woman who seemed to always be a step ahead. She gave an air of knowing something he didn’t which got under his skin since he is so used to being the smartest person in any given room. Diana on the other hand was intrigued by this wolf in sheep’s clothing who obviously didn’t belong with this group of people and looked so ready to rip the head off the first person to give him reason. I wanted to explore their back and forth while also giving more of a Leading Lady type role to Diana as opposed to Snyder’s Hot Lady Stares At Dagger role.

~If Batman is in the movie, I feel like it should always be more about him. A lot of DCEU stories – animated or otherwise – already do this. Batman is practically the only human hero in this whole Universe. It’s far easier for us to relate to his perspective in any one arc because none of us have x-ray vision or super speed and neither does he. We feel a sort of emotion and anxiety for him that we don’t for others because, unless someone zaps Kal with that funky green rock, he’ll probably be okay. Bruce, on the other hand, could get squashed at any point. Which reminds me…

~Writing Superman is HARD. Writing him well is harder because of every reason I’ve stated above. Now, I’ve read GREAT Superman stories. I’ve read great Batman stories that had Superman in them. Superman is a great character and has so much rich history behind him. But the nature of his character is tough to navigate if you don’t have it mapped. He’s simply too powerful. It’s not his fault. He’s Born Like This.

Wonder why Hulk and Thor weren’t involved in Captain America: Civil War? Because suspension of disbelief, even in a comic book movie, can only get you so far before you stand in your chair and ask, “Why doesn’t Hulk Smash EVERYTHING?” Why indeed. If you’ve read the comic version of Civil War, you know: it was a race to find the Hulk. Like picking the tall kid for basketball, or the fast one for kickball. If Hulk is on your team you win the Superhero Contest! Simple as that. He’s The Strongest There Is. Just like Kal-El. We know Clark is really a good guy. Probably a God-fearing guy, given his childhood on a Kansas farm. But it’s hard at times to feel bad for the guy who could probably delete your planet. Or resolve the plot in 2 minutes or less. Again, storytelling.

~I am a longtime fan of professional wrestling. It’s an interesting niche to be involved with because as a form of entertainment, it’s like everything else, but there is nothing else like it. On top of the amazing displays of literal death-defying athleticism that I no doubt respect and enjoy, the true enjoyment for me comes from the storylines and characters that are crafted in this pseudo-athletic world of pantomime competition. A very pretty way of saying: wrestling is fake. Just like Dawn of Justice is fake. This is no secret but watching wrestling for so long has me looking at other forms of prose and fiction to see how I would “book” similar conflicts that run parallel in the other story. In the story of Batman v Superman, this match would not be happening on my watch. Not yet.

Can you fucking imagine if Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant instead of having their Sport-Defining Most Important Match of All Time at WrestleMania III in front of 100,000 people had it on Main Event in front of 15,000? Vinny Mac wouldn’t be the magnate he is now. This is practically the first film of DC’s next phase. It’s like a basketball team that gets down by ten points and then tries to make it all back on one play instead of getting a stop then a score then a stop then a score… Guys. Patience! I want Bruce to beat the shit out this guy, too. But let’s maybe get the gang together first before we blow our wad through 50 years of combined history here. Who gives a shit what Marvel is doing [making another Ant-Man movie!] you have a great catalogue and unlimited resources! Take the time to make it right.

Easier said than done, I know. The idea is to pull the most profit right now and given that they started behind the blocks WB isn’t exactly in a waiting mood. This isn’t an easy job. BUT! When I am in the theater watching DoJ and the Big Blue Boy Scout is on the screen my preceding thought shouldn’t be, Oh, just die already! I should cheer for him! I should want him to win! I should want all of them to win! Hence, the DAWN of- Nope. I’ve made that point already. I’ll tell you what I’ll do.

As the summary suggested, this will be a canon divergence of sorts but it will be canon compliant. To a point. I’ve always believed in doing the best with what you’ve got, so as much as I would love to dig around for countless hours in the endless meta and rogues’ gallery of both Batman and Superman I’ll be sticking to the canon presented or influenced by the movie itself. Which means, sadly, my favorite and yours Dick Grayson will not be making an appearance. There will be other winks and nods peppered throughout and maybe even some cameos as I see fit. This is a work of fiction. I am not pulling profit from it and even if I was, Zack Snyder doesn’t sign my checks.

The story will involve a different version of a still angry Bruce Wayne who makes a different decision after the Capitol Hill Bombing. Instead of vowing revenge on Superman, he works to discover who is responsible for the attack while Wonder Woman helps him track down the Metahumans on LexCorp’s watchlist. It will still be an action movie but with much more emphasis on Bruce as the World’s Greatest Detective which is an important part of the character. Because isn’t he a bit too smart to be jerked around by a low rent Heath Ledger costume?

This will also be a Mature fic. You would think that after the smashing success of Deadpool that studios would have ditched the myth that PG-13 ratings equaled the most ticket sales. If there ever was a DC movie to get the R that wasn’t Suicide Squad, it had to be this one. Obviously they had no problem killing scores of people, but the thematic elements weren’t there. That, and Bruce should be cussing waaaay more in this (I will happily acquiesce). Because realistically, Kal-El has already saved the entire world from certain doom whereas Batman has been beating up gang members and thugs in the gutter of Gotham for two decades. An endless slog with no end in sight. How bitter and jaded would you be of such an existence? So if your Bats isn’t the kind that doesn’t care what happens to Thug No. 2 as he flies out the 3rd story window hop off now.

Arthur, Vic and Barry will all be in this, obviously. My plans for Flash are what you’d expect, but the other two are examples of where some divergence might take place from a characterization standpoint.

I’m a big fan of Jason Mamoa as Aquaman. I think he’s got a great look and it’s a good way to legitimize a character that, unfairly or otherwise, has been the butt of so many jokes. Not only that, but Aquaman has always been a hero – like Wonder Woman – who I’ve always felt (forgive me here) was a bit too Caucasian. Remember the animated movie Atlantis: The Lost Empire? It isn’t by accident that the only Caucasian people in that movie are from the surface world. With that being said, I know DC’s Cinematic style and I can see from the first Justice League trailer that this Arthur is going to be big and growly. That’s fine, because Mamoa is big and growly, too, but the Aquaman I know best does stuff like this.



Yes, that is Aquaman riding a silverfish. And if your first thought was, “Hi-yo Silverfish!” get yourself a cookie because that was the exact line from the show. I may have stopped laughing in time to see the end of the episode. I won’t make him do something as ridiculous but I’ll do my best to make him an affable fish man with a fiery temper.

Cyborg is another case altogether. The original Teen Titans animated series was never underrated at any juncture from what I remember, but I do very much remember – even as a teen myself watching – that the show was much darker than was given credit for. Nevermind the Slade/Robin “I own you” storyline: there were serval episodes dealing with identity issues and finding purpose. It makes sense because they’re teenagers but especially in Vic’s case because other than Beast Boy (it’s not easy being green) he can’t hide who he is.

It’s implied that he’s come to terms with the fact that he will never be fully human, but it’s never really that easy. In the episode where he goes undercover as the villain STONE, he looks at the projected image of himself in his old body and wonders what life would be like if he had only ever been Victor. Would he still be in school? Would he still be playing football? Would his mother still be alive? Victor Stone’s story is a tragic one, really. Even his origin is one that has subversive themes of dehumanization and overt body horror that a Mad Max dream sequence just couldn’t do justice. I believe the best way to go about writing Vic is with a simmering aggression. He’s accepting of his situation and doesn’t like it, but he’s learning to appreciate being alive with every experience he has.

While on the topic, Gal Gadot is perfect for this role. I had her in mind as I wrote for Wonder Woman which is incredibly fun, for the record. I feel the same way about Ben Affleck. His portrayal of Batman was the best I’ve seen on screen. The same goes for Jeremy Irons as Alfred. Exceptional casting in both cases. Without their performances, I would have likely walked out of the theater that night.

Something else that bugged me about the movie: how little dialogue was spent pondering the murky grays of Batman, Superman and vigilantism in general. It’s clear no one really cares for Batman but Superman flies into a conflict zone, kills the shit out of some insurgents and flies back home with his girlfriend like nothing happened. People freak out for a bit, but then everything’s cool again until the Senate Hearing is bombed. I plan to explore this theme early and often because like Assassin’s Creed I feel like sometimes these stories tend to portray the protagonists too much like The Good Guys - in particular Bruce Wayne. And he is a Good Guy, technically, but he is also famous for using very aggressive and ethically challenged manors of achieving his goals. That, and I don’t plan to shy away from Bruce’s almost-certainly-untreated PTSD, nor the fact that underneath his charm he is at times a very unstable man capable of extreme acts of violence. Per the movie.

I’ve gone back and forth on whether to do it all as an actual screenplay or write it as prose and I chose the latter option just because it’s what I know best. I’m comfortable with it and it will help me paint the picture better. Show don’t tell, etc. etc.

Another order of business: DC – unlike Marvel – bases most of their story arcs in fictional places, separate from or alongside real cities. Although it isn’t always made clear which city is where geographically, the consensus is that most of them are on the East Coast or in the Midwest. As such, I’ve taken some creative liberties so that our story won’t only take place in cold and/or grey places. Ah, the power of fiction.


GOTHAM/METROPOLIS – As presented in the movie, Gotham City is in New Jersey and Metropolis is its New York counterpart across the water.

CENTRAL CITY – Ordinarily is depicted as part of Kansas City, Missouri’s Metro area. For the purposes of this story, it will be at or around the real-life location of Flagstaff, Arizona; due West of the Hopi Reservation.

JUMP CITY – Hometown of the Teen Titans in the animated series. Titans Tower is perched on a seaside cliff where it never rains, so in honor of one of my best friends who relocated and beta’d my early drafts, Jump City is our Orange County/SoCal stand-in. (Right up the road from Los Santos.)

STAR CITY – Again, depicted as sorta East Coast and vaguely Midwest. For Barry’s sake, we’re sticking to the Left Coast. Pacific Northwest to be exact.

THEMYSCIRA – Legend puts the Home of the Amazons on the banks of the Thermodon River. Themyscira was an ancient Greek town near the mouth of this river which is now known as the Terme in modern-day Turkey. In DC Land, Themyscira is an island so that island will be somewhere due North in the Black Sea.


This is part of a process for me. Things are going okay for me right now, but I know I’m not as happy as I should be. My personal life has stagnated while my professional life has plateaued. I’ve got many friends I’d like to spend time with but simply can’t because of time, distance, obligations, etc and I’m afraid they think I’ve forgotten them. In truth, all I forgot was how important writing was to me.

It always helped center me, when my thoughts and emotions began to spiral but I didn’t write anything for the longest time because of the feeling of futility that overcame me. Like I let everyone down. Hopefully, by writing this story and following through on my plan to challenge myself creatively I can find a bit of energy by writing of the exploits of these madmen while sprinkling in some of my own madness.

Thank you for your time. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy your stay. And if you ever decide to leave, I thank you for coming in the first place. Ladies and Gentlemen this is…


DAWN OF JUSTICE