NBA 2015: The One Where No One Wanted To Play the Hornets

Free agency! How does it work?

I don't usually talk about Free Agency online. Because, usually everyone else has for me. I didn't feel like I needed to talk about you-know-who, nor did I feel the need to talk about who was gonna overpay for Carmelo Anthony's services. I wasn't particularly interested in Houston's future and I knew the Lakers were screwed either way. I was more than fine with being silent on the issue. Then, Friday June 11, 2014 comes around and I have to say something! What a fascinating turn of events we had. So many things happened! Not just with the heavy hitters, but with the building blocks as well. And now that all the dominoes have fallen I'll go down the row and discuss what I think of each move from a basketball standpoint and mentally prepare for what is sure to be an interesting, if not entertaining, 2015 season.

CLEVELAND CAVALIERS

I won't go on about you-know-who going you-know-where. From what I read of his essay it was a very personal decision and it was apparently going to be made at one point or another. Perhaps maybe a little earlier than some had forseen, but the writing was on the wall it seems. He was ready and I respect his choice. Just like any other choice he would have made. I've known the true character of this man all along and never doubted for a second. Be well, sir.

MIAMI HEAT

I will talk about his former team, however, because Miami is in an interesting position. After four straight Finals appearances and back-to-back titles they are in retooling mode. It's not a bad place, either. With the acquisition of Luol Deng, their line-up next year looks like this:

1. Mario Chalmers 2. Dwayne Wade 3. Luol Deng 4. Josh McRoberts 5. Chris Bosh

And with Danny Granger coming off the bench (and perhaps a look at Mike Scott from Atlanta) Miami could complete their current rotation of the Big Guys Who Can Shoot All-Stars. Continue to develop Norris Cole. Make sure to show Shabazz Napier the ropes. I don't know if Miami is a contender, but with most of their roster back they are every bit a playoff team.

HOUSTON ROCKETS

I'll hop to Houston next. Since that was where Bosh was thought to be going before The Decision came down. It could have been a good fit, too. Bosh gets to play Power Forward – his true position – and spread the floor with his improved perimeter shooting. Houston would have gotten one of the best off-the-ball players in the league today. Not to mention a battle-tested world champion and perhaps even someone to knock down shots when James Harden goes cold in the playoffs.

Now they don't get any of that. Oh, spoilers, they're not getting Carmelo either. Which sucks for them because one thing holds true in free agency no matter who is involved: if you aren't willing to shill out for your guy, there is someone, somewhere who just found his number on their list. Houston made a mistake early by burning their bridge with Jeremy Lin. Hijacking his number for a Photoshopped banner to lure The Melo Man to The Lonestar State. He didn't feel like moving but Jeremy Lin did, being traded to the Lakers not days after the initial controversy.

"Good thing we didn't telegraph that, right guys?"

They also went so far as to rub Chandler Parsons the wrong way by not offering what he felt was market value. This is tricky. Sure you could argue that maybe Parsons isn't worth $15 million or more, especially on a team where he's the third option at best. On the other hand, he single-handedly helped extend their First Round playoff series against the Portland Trailblazers that they were going to lose anyway. But whatever you believe, he's off to a team in Dallas that has a need for him and he has more value for. It's a cold world in Houston, though. Losing two of their young, talented players their immediate future sees them jobbing out to Portland. You know, seeing as how they still have no answer for LaMarcus Aldridge, one less answer for Nic Batum and even less answers for Damien Lillard. Have fun, Clutch City.

CHICAGO BULLS

We're in Texas and not too far away so let's swing it up to the Second City. Lots of questions for Chicago. Questions that include but aren't limited to:

Why didn't Melo sign?

Can they score?

Will D-Rose make it to December before disintegrating like Sandman?

Can Joakim make it to December without devouring the rookies?

Substitutions. How do they work?

    Jimmy Butler [Minutes Per Game]

I'm only halfway kidding with some of those. There is much uncertainty when it pertains to the Chicago Bulls. They had the worst offense in the NBA last season and lost badly to an upstart Washington Wizards team (who would have swept if they weren't such a terrible home team) in the first round of the playoffs. Nobody knows when Derrick Rose will return and to what capacity. The window is shrinking. Yes, even in this piss poor incarnation of the Eastern Conference. Why would any man - let alone a legit Top 10 player – take less money to have Coach Thibs run your knees into pixie dust unless you were 110% sure you would get a title?

I was not-so-secretly hoping the Bulls would give a kind “Screw You” to both of the big dogs on the table and just overpay for Lance Stephenson, who deserves a team who will appreciate his ear-blowing greatness. They didn't though, and instead settled for drafting Doug McDermott and saving-uh, I mean, signing Pau Gasol from the Lakers. The bigger question for me however, is Coach Tom Thibodeau himself. He must have felt he was coming into a favorable situation, and he was at the time. Now several years later and we must address the elephant in the room Bulls fans. What if Derrick Rose can never be Derrick Rose? How long does he stay, then? There is interest in the market for him. Rumors already have him going to Memphis at some point. Maybe it's for the best, though. Perhaps the Bulls could use a coach that won't rely on his backup Point Guard as Option No. 1.

LAKERS

BUCKS

JAZZ

NETS

76ERS

PISTONS

SUNS

DALLAS MAVERICKS

Okay, okay for real this time. Back to Texas where upside is the word of the day and no, for once we won't be talking about the Spurs. As was referenced above, the Rockets' loss is the Maverick's gain in Chandler Parsons to the tune of 3yr/$46mil. The Mavs get a young Small Forward with potential room to grow and a nice piece to help take some minutes away from Dirk who himself resigned to a 3-year deal. Don't sleep on the Mavericks next year, folks. On top of being one of the best teams to watch in the regular season they'll also be a tough out again in the playoffs. And it will be solely because of the sudden and shocking brilliance of Monta Ellis in the Point Guard role. We'll see how next year goes for them, but if I were one Mark Cuban, I'd think long and hard about keeping this kid on long term. Fast don't lie.

MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES

Let me take some time today to talk about the 'Wolves. At the time this piece is being written they hold a tremendous amount of power in this year's free agency because they have on their roster one considerably talented player. I speak of Kevin Love and, yes, I will admit to his talent but I won't be so quick to admit to his value. Allow me to explain. Mr. Love is the centerpiece of two proposed trades that his current team is looking to make. One of which would see him going to Golden State; the other shipping him off to Cleveland. Not terrible on the surface. Until you see what the pieces are.

Bird forbid that say any team doesn't need LeBron James but I'm gonna say it anyway. The Golden State Warriors do not need LeBron James. They can win a championship right now. When they're healthy, they have the best starting five in all of basketball. Period. All they really need is a deeper bench, which they'll have if they develop the guys they've already signed. So when I hear the top brass want to trade Klay Thompson and/or Harrison Barnes for Kevin Love, I think I might pass out. You have a better team than Cleveland right now despite the fact they have their Prodigal Son. If you already know you don't need the best player in the world, why would you blow that up to get a guy who is at best No. 3 at his position?

Same thing goes for the Cavs. They want to trade the No. 1 overall draft pick Andrew Wiggins? After three straight years of screwing up their draft pick they finally get one right and now they want to delete that with one signing? I get it, okay. Love is an upstart. And at 25 isn't even close to his prime yet. I like my big white guys who can shoot as much as the next [cc: Josh McRoberts] but however good you think he is, it's still not as good as Wiggins (who hasn't even played a damn game yet!) will be. I mean, look at this shit.

Man, this screenshot from 2K looks dope!

Granted, the athleticism might not always be there but the skills he learns as he goes along will more than make up for it. Even then, all he really needs is a consistent outside shot. Once he gets that, it's lights out. Don't you stand to gain more if you're Cleveland by having this kid learn from the best? You don't even need a Power Forward. You just signed Mike Miller! Miami's loss is your gain: two times over! Don't get greedy now.

All of that is assuming anything comes from these talks. As is typical of most free agencies it is more likely that nothing will come of it and Kevin Love will play one more half-assed year for the 'Wolves until he moves out West and they lose him to the Lakers for absolutely nothing. Poetic justice for the team that had two First Round draft picks and used them to pick two guards who both happened to be named Not Stephen Curry.

INDIANA PACERS

Oh you poor Pacers fans. I am so sorry. No Danny Granger, no Lance Stephenson; you guys don't even have Miami to pick on anymore. It was a collapse of massive proportions. Mostly because it happened in slow motion. From the end of February after the All-Star break to the end of the Conference Finals at the end of May, the Pacers were in free-fall. It was equal parts horrible and spectacular and it will be tough to pin down where it all started. Was Paul George not as good as we thought? Was Roy Hibbert as bad as Skip Bayless thought? Was the Pacers second unit worse than we all thought?

Whatever the reason(s), it's back to square one in Indy with one viable offensive threat [cc: David West] and no true Point Guard. The Evan Turner Experiment is over and Lance has moved on to a team who will pay and use him correctly. You know, probably. Which reminds me.

CHARLOTTE HORNETS

If you had told me this time last year that the Basketball Team from Charlotte would set themselves up to be the 5^th best team in the East...I might actually believe it after some coercing because it is the East but it would still take plenty of coercing. But after striking free agent gold last year with Center Al Jefferson and a breakout year for young Kemba Walker, the new-look Hornets are on the upswing. Add to that draft prospect Noah Vonleh and the newly acquired Lance Stephenson [3yrs/$9mil per] to start alongside Kemba in the backcourt; suddenly the Hornets have reclaimed their rightful place as that one team no one wants to play. A nasty surprise waiting for teams in the East this year.

NEW YORK KNICKS

Sigh. I don't have to talk about the Knicks do I? Do I?? Gah! Fine! But I'm doing it for you, America! The Knickerbockers were bad last year. Really, really bad. So bad I was forced to no-sell their games completely. Short of watching the Warriors play I refused to watch a Knicks game. There was no appeal to be found. You know, unless Hero Ball, poor guard play and lazy defense are your slice of cheese. Nevermind that Melo arguably had his best year as a pro, shooting nearly 40 percent from 3. Too bad no one noticed, as his teammates were too busy doing their best Washington Generals impression.

Ray Felton doing his best Ray Felton impresson.

The problem areas are numerous; one can't really pinpoint one particular place where everything went to crap. Perhaps the most pervasive problem was having a slash/create offense run by a guard who can neither slash or create.

But this is free agency and with one phone call even the Raymond Felton-sized anchor that held down Iman Shumpert last year can be lifted. And it was by way of a big six-man trade that saw Tyson Chandler and Felton both head to Dallas while the Knicks cash in on a bevy of guards: Jose Calderon, Wayne Ellington, and Shane Larkin. Not to mention the veteran big man Samuel Dalembert. With Carmelo reported as taking 5yrs/$124 mil from New York and Amare being off the books by next season at the latest there may be an outside outside chance the New York Basketball Knicks could attract some big time free agent like a Kevin Love or even a Russell Westbrook (the next MVP). Will they be better now? Could they be worse than they were?

MISC:

Really though, why all the fuss over Kevin Love? Why do this to yourselves? Just tank your final year, sign with Boston and put Bill Simmons out of his misery. Or, fly home to play for the Lakers and put Simmons out of his misery. Either way, really.

The one where the Hawks drafted Adreian Payne No. 15 and robbed the league blind.

With all the guys opting out this year, it was pretty cool to see Zach Randolph opt in to the Grizz. Great show of solidarity from your best player. Those fans deserve it. Now get some shooting.

Was disappointed in the Knicks head coach decision. Not because I don't like Derek Fisher, but because it confirmed my fears of Phil Jackson's thought process as President. All he had to do was get a guy who could coach. A leader of men who could be respected. Instead, he got a first-time coach to use as a hitch to run his own system because his first choice wanted to be a leader and not a lackey. They're even paying him the same $25 million that Steve Kerr is getting paid by Golden State. I'm not saying it's good or bad, but it rubs me the wrong way.

Why is Kendrick Perkins still on my TV screen?

Why is Scottie "Glasses Make Me Look Smarter" Brooks still a head coach?

I mean what I said about Russ. If he can manage to improve his outside shooting, coupled with his athleticism? There will be no one in the game that can stop him.

The Celtics drafted Marcus Smart. So when Rajon Rondo gets traded, the trending theme of poectic justice says it has to be either Miami or Brooklyn.

Shout-out to the Cavs for helping out the Nets even though they really didn't have to. Rest assured, they need Jarrett Jack more than you do right now. Oh, one more thing. Lance and I have a great idea for how you can welcome your boy back in style.